Birthday Ponderings

Today I turned 33. I was reminded by many people today that 33 is the age Jesus was when He completed His ministry on earth. That thought of course, left me feeling a bit behind. I'd better get to work on changing the world if I'm ever going to come close to being like Jesus before I leave this earth. I hope you don't find me disrespectful for speaking in jest as it relates to the Savior. I'd like to think He has a good sense of humor about our working so hard to be like Him. I know that is His goal after all - that we would be like Him - but nevertheless, He must find our efforts laughable.

I did a lot of thinking today about the next year. . .the next few years actually. As I sat cuddling Hope after her nap, I thought a lot about who I wanted to become. Even though I was a mom on my birthday last year, it seemed completely different now that Hope was walking and talking and acting like a little person. Her future is so much more tangible to me now that she can say "future" (among a hundred other words). I sat there thinking that I needed to get my head in the game. I use this phrase often, usually referring to work. As a mom I don't always feel like I have my head in the work game. But as a working mom, I don't always feel like I have my head in the mommy game. I know there is a balance. Some days I think I've found it. I just felt so heavily today that I need to be functioning with such precision when it comes to Hope and even more so because I am a working mom.

So as the celebration of my thirty-third year comes to a close, I begin the next year with great ambition to live life with just enough precision to be the mommy Hope needs, the wife Dave needs, and the servant my family, friends, clients and coworkers need. But I also hope to live with enough humility to be dependent only on my Heavenly Father so that He will receive the glory for every good thing I accomplish.

Thanks to all my precious family and friends who have taught me so much about living life this way. Here's to many years of learning this game together. I love you all!

Working Mommy Lesson #4

I'll start this post with a few pics from the pumpkin farm for those of you that visit this blog more for Hope photos and updates then for my ponderings. Isn't she sweet? I sure do think so.

Believe it or not, I already have another working mommy lesson to share with all of you. This one came this morning.

Working Mommy Lesson #4: Don't Apologize That You Are a Mom.

Mondays are one of my days home with Hope. Given the nature of my job, I do work on Mondays and some Mondays I even have to do meetings. This Monday was one of them however I did not have any childcare. My mom or my mother-in-law could have watched Hope but we are going out of town tomorrow (for work) and I make sure to never take advantage of my childcare (another working mommy lesson I'll save for later). So there was no childcare this morning which meant I took Hope with me to pick up my client and we dropped him off at the meeting instead of attending (although we working mommies do keep the world turning, sometimes it just has to spin without us). When my client stuck his head in the back of the car to greet Hope as he climbed in, she immediately began to cry and did not stop until after he was long out of her sight.

I felt horrible and unprofessional and wondered why this client would want such a scattered mommy to be his manager. Thank God he has small children himself and understands how it goes. Yet still. . .I was less than my best on the job this morning.

I felt guilty for about an hour until I was driving home and that working mommy lesson voice spoke very clearly, "Don't apologize that you are a mom." I'm a mom first (especially on Mondays) and everyone I work with and work for knew that going in. I've actually begged my boss to fire me, telling him I just don't cut it in this role as a mom. When I say this - which is about once every three months - he gives me a pep talk and tells me what a good job I'm doing. Perhaps someday he'll realize that a screaming toddler is not the best representation of our company, but until then I am not going to feel bad that sometimes my role as a mom overlaps my role as a manager.

Sure, I might be a little embarrassed when my child acts out in front of my coworkers. And I might be horrified when she cries so loud I can't talk to the client I see in person only three times a year. But I will not apologize that I am a mom or for anything that comes with that. Actually, I'm probably a better manager for it. . .since I know how to deal with high maintenance people that need constant attention.

: )

Working Mommy Lesson #3

Actually, this lesson is for everyone, not just working moms. But it struck me this week as something I should share for any of us who feel over-extended from time to time.

Working Mommy Lesson #3: Give, and Get Grace.

This past Monday I had the pleasure of watching my friend Terri's two children. I gladly offered to help out on my day off because I love her kids and I knew it would be no trouble at all. I also knew that Terri would do the same for me if I needed it. Although I knew her kids would be wonderfully behaved and would not add any extra stress, I wondered if I would be able to find the time to get things done around the house and complete the work I needed to that day. The day came and went and of course they were angels (I'm not just saying that because she reads my blog). And as I settled in for the night, I couldn't believe how much I accomplished - both at home and with work.

The week progressed and the grace continued to come. Each day at work seemed to bring about much accomplishment and at home I seemed to get even more done than usual.

As I ended the week last night, I began to reflect on how it began and I felt God whisper, "Give, and get grace." I realized that even as a busy, working mom, this is the king of life I want to live. I don't want to say no just because I'm afraid it will be too much. I want to give and give and trust God for the grace to give some more.

So dear friends, bring it on! Let's cultivate a life of giving to one another and a community that can depend on one another. Give, and get grace. . .all the grace that you need!

Seriously, there IS a diaper fairy!

I know, I know. You are all so sick and tired of my bragging about Amazon subscribe and save and how I get my diapers delivered right to my door. You too can participate in this amazing feature of the modern world. Sorry to harp on it, but I had to share about my recent run in with the diaper fairy.

Just 5 minutes ago I was sitting on the floor with Hope, looking at a toy catalog while watching Oprah (yes, we're having a productive afternoon). I realized she had a poopie diaper - the third one today. I thought about how there were no more diapers downstairs and strategized how I would run up quickly while leaving Hope alone in the living room. I'm sure that the department of child services wouldn't come get me for leaving a 17 month old unattended in the living room for 45 seconds, but then again, they don't know my daughter. The other day I took my eyes off of her for a minute and then discovered she had climbed all the way up the stairs into her room to get a toy then was making her way back down the stairs before I grabbed her off the third step from the top. . .but I digress. . .

So I was just about to sprint up the stairs to grab some diapers when I caught a glimpse of something colorful through my front door window. Purple. . .yellow. . .could it be?? YES! The diaper fairy had come and left me such a simple and wonderful gift. Diapers, free of the 45 second sprint up and down the stairs.

I can hardly believe it. It's true Virginia, there is a diaper fairy. And she comes right when you need her.

Simplicity Project #14

The Coupon Game

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted. And I am very sorry that I missed September's Simplicity Project post. I'm sure you are all relieved to know I don't have it all together.

Last month I tackled several little projects like cleaning out my closet to see what clothing items I really need for the fall. I actually found a few dresses (no kidding, they were stuck underneath some other clothes in the corner) and within 15 minutes of finding them, I put together two really cute outfits with sweaters and shoes I already had. It's amazing what an hour of cleaning can do for your wardrobe! I also cleaned out Hope's closet and transferred her summer clothes to my consignment pile.

This month, I decided to post about couponing. You may be asking what that has to do with simplicity. If any of you participate in the coupon game, you know it can be very complicated. I kept hearing about all these women who were saving hundreds of dollars a month using coupons. Women who spend $40 a week to feed a family of four. After probing further, I realized these women spend most of their free time up to their eyeballs in coupon clippings and they typically go to a grocery store every day. I don't know about you, but I don't have time for that!

My great friend Terri (who happens to be amazing at everything she puts her hands to) told me about some great websites that have made the coupon game one that is easy to master. The women writing these blogs do all the work for you! They research store ads, coupon circulars and everything you need to know to get the best deals possible.

My favorite is www.southernsavers.com She lays out every ad for the week and then lists and links to coupons for each item on sale. Last week I got Pillsbury cookie dough for .45 and coffee that is usually $5.79 a bag for $1.59 a bag.

There are many sites out there and you really could spend all your free time playing this game. In the spirit of simplicity, I have adopted a few, simple rules that allow me to participate in the savings without spending a lot of my time.

My Rules for Effective Coupon Savings:
- Pick a store and stick with it. (I choose Publix - I love Publix)
- Pick one website that covers that store's circular. (Southern Savers covers them all)
- Go through the list of items on special and write down only the things you really need. (With Publix, I concentrate on the BOGO deals)
- The site will cross reference the store deals with newspaper and online printable coupons. Cut or print coupons for only the items you will likely buy.
- Plan to do your shopping on the same day each week so you can coordinate with in store deals.
- Stock up only on the items you know you will use within a month. (No one needs canned soup stocked up for a year - that is not simple living!)

Last week I did stock up on cereal because we eat it every day. With the BOGO deals and the coupons, I got 4 boxes for $1.25 a piece. That is a great deal for cereal! I spent $150 on groceries last week - which may not seem like a deal - but most of those groceries will last me all month. I may return to Publix once or twice this month for fresh produce and a few odds and ends.

The important thing is to find a simple couponing plan that works for you and your household. Don't become obsessed with saving. If you get too overwhelmed, you may be saving money, but it will cost you your mind.

Working Mommy Lesson #2

Who knew the lessons would come so frequently. . .

This week I am pondering another working mommy lesson. Hang with me here as I process a bit as I write.

Working Mommy Lesson #2: As working mommies, it's OK live a compartmentalized life.

My pastor talks a lot about living a "fully-integrated life". He encourages that our Sunday morning worship should bleed into our mid-week life. . .that the way we serve at home should show up in our workplace and so on and so forth. I am absolutely on board with this belief. The only way to truly live as Christ is to be the same everyday of our lives. There is nothing worse than a Christian who does not carry the same heart with them on Tuesday as they do on Sunday. Actually, it's pretty pathetic.

I guess at some point though, I adapted the belief that living a fully-integrated life meant that I carried work home with me, that I let it invade my head and my emotions when I should otherwise be focusing elsewhere. I suppose I've thought that fully-integrated went both ways. If my worship and the person that I am should bleed into my work, then the visa verse should be as well. Although this seems to be the right notion, I think I'm missing something here.

I believe this is true for all of us, most of all working mommies. While we need our worship and our love to show up in every area of our lives, we do not need our work pressure or our work stress to show up there as well. I got in my car this evening burdened by a silly little thing that happened at work. It was so small and trivial and yet I let it eat away at me. Then it dawned on me that I needed to leave it there, in the parking lot. If I so choose, I could pick it back up there in the parking lot tomorrow but perhaps by then I will have forgotten all about it. Each and every night as I leave my role as a manager I need to close that compartment of my life until I open it back up again the next day. With this job it seems almost impossible to do that but I have to at least try. When I carry those burdens home with me I am not helping anyone. On those rare occasions where that "thing" is truly a big deal, maybe I'll carry it home in a trusty little portable container and open it back up once Hope has gone to sleep. OK, maybe I've gone to far with the imagery here.

I guess what I'm trying to say is. . .it's OK to compartmentalize some things. I think we have to or we'll go mad. We need boundaries in life and sometimes those compartments are just that, offering us the opportunity to differentiate between what is important in the moment and what can wait.

I am committed to living a fully-integrated life when it comes to everything good and holy and pleasing to the Lord. But when it comes to those things He warns us against just as worry and stress and even fear of failure, you'd better believe my office is soon going to look like the Container Store.

Mark. Mag Sighting

Just when I was about to cancel my Lucky subscription because I'm not cool enough for the magazine, I was validated by the fact that they covered not one, not two, but three Mark products in the September issue. That's right . . . even I am on the cutting edge of beauty!

I think I'll still cancel my subscription. The outfits they put together in there are just too funky for me. Every time I flip through Lucky I am torn between my own personal style and the one I think I need to have to match the pages of the magazine. It's sheer torture!

Yet, still . . . I am glad to know I'm not totally behind the times. At least I can say I have that necklace they are calling a "fixation".



Don't forget to check out my Mark store: www.mymarkstore.com/jwolstenholm

I just got the Christmas preview in the mail today. There is some really cute stuff coming. Can't wait to share about it.