Marketplace Mommy

A Hiatus. . .

2010-07-09T15:21:00.003-06:00

As you can probably tell, I'm finding it more and more challenging to update my blog on a regular basis. I've looked high and low for working mommy blogs and there aren't a ton out there. . .probably because it's so hard to be diligent on a blog with work and home responsibilities constantly nagging.

I've felt guilty about not being consistent but then I realized that all of you probably find it challenging to keep up with your responsibilities let alone following a blog. I'm sure no one will be devastated when I say I think I am going to take a hiatus from this blog for a bit (and just after I got it looking so cute, nuts!).

I believe I really need to focus on The Pregnancy Companion project during the coming months and it's just too much to juggle two blogs at once. I have also felt a strong conviction that whatever I do or write needs to be purposeful and helpful for others. I have so many ideas swirling around in my head that could potentially be helpful to others but without focus, none of them will ever see the light of day.

This season is the season for The Pregnancy Companion and I want to give my heart and mind wholly to that effort. I hope that you will jump over and follow Dr. Rupe and me there. Whether you are trying to conceive, expecting, or none of the above, I believe we'll have some helpful information and encouragement for you in the coming months.

Hopefully I'll be back here soon coming up with all kinds of mind-blowing tips for working moms. Until then, I'll trust you are glad to have one less blog to keep up with right now.

Thanks for your support.
Love,
Jessica

My Menu: Wk of 6/20/10 {w/ Cookie Recipe!}

2010-06-20T16:15:00.006-06:00

We had such a nice and relaxing Father's Day today with family and friends. Hope you enjoyed time celebrating the men in your life today as well.

It's another nutty week in our household. Lots of evenings committed outside of home but I think I've managed to come up with an easy menu including a few of my favorite working (or busy) mom's shortcuts.

If you've never checked out the Palermo's frozen thin crust pizzas at Costco, you should really give them a try. As a working mom who gets home at 6:15 3 days a week, these are perfect for a quick and not too unhealthy meal. We pair the pizza with a green salad and get a meal with relatively no prep, complete in under 20 minutes. The crusts are so thin and crunchy. I was able to eat 1/3 of the pizza even while on a strict low carb diet.

For Friday's meal, I will use Costco uncooked tortillas. My great friend Kristy turned me on to these and they are amazing. They come uncooked so you simply cook them in a pan on the stove until they fluff a bit. You can use these yummy, chewy tortillas for burritos, soft tacos or even breakfast burritos.

The Calypso Crunch cookies that I served at Father's Day lunch today were such a hit. We discovered these cookies in the Publix bakery. My husband requested them for dessert today but Publix did not have them. I searched the internet for a recipe and found this one (I made a few modifications which are included). They were awesome (if I do say so myself). We paired them with various flavors of sherbet and everyone (including my hubs) was pleased. If you want a light and tropical alternative to your normal chocolate chip cookies this summer, give these a try.

Calypso Crunch Cookies

Ingredients
1 stick (1/2 cup) margarine
1 cup light brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1 1/2 teaspoons vanilla
1/2 teaspoon almond extract
1 1/4 cup quick cooking oats, crushed in a blender
1 cup self rising flour
8 oz. canned, crushed pineapple, drained
7 oz. coconut
1/2 cup chopped walnuts

Directions

Mix margarine, sugars, vanilla, and almond extract, set aside.

Process oats in blender until a fine powder then add flour and oats to margarine mixture. Beat well. Add pineapple, coconut, and nuts to the mix.

Make into balls (a little smaller than a golf ball) and flatten with fork on a greased and floured cookie sheet.

Bake at 350 degrees for 15-18 minutes.

Enjoy. . .or as we Italians say Salude!

Easy, New Chicken Recipe {w/ photos}

2010-06-12T14:45:00.008-06:00

My Menu for this week posted here. And here's a great and easy chicken recipe that's kid friendly!

Yummy Chicken Bits w/ Oriental Salad
Prep Time: 5-10 min / Cook Time: 15 min / Feeds: Depends on how much you make : )

{WARNING: This is not a precise recipe which is sorta the way we Italians do things.}

You'll Need:
Boneless/Skinless Chicken Breasts
Cooking spray
Olive Oil
Balsamic Vinegar
Garlic Salt (or Garlic Powder and Salt)
Romaine Lettuce
Green Onions
1 Small Pkg Sliced Almonds
2 Packages Ramen Noodles

Clean and trim chicken breasts then cut into little chunk pieces. Heat skillet over medium heat. Spray pan with cooking spray. Add in chicken pieces and garlic salt, stir. Let chicken cook for a few minutes. It should look something like this:

While chicken is cooking, rinse and cut romaine lettuce. This is an entree salad so you can cut however much you'll need for each person to have an entree-sized portion. We use 1.5 bunches for three servings. Put lettuce in serving bowl.

Chicken should be cooking nicely. Once most of the juices are cooked off, add in enough balsamic vinegar to coat and stir again. This will create a nice glaze in the pan and will cause chicken to get a little brown. Add a small amount of olive oil and stir again. This will cause the chicken to get a little crispy. The chicken should look pretty done by now (about 10 or so minutes from when you first put it in). You can add more garlic salt if you'd like. Have a taste and see what you think. This recipe is really about how YOU want it to taste. If the chicken looks like it needs more time and the pan is really dry, add a tiny bit more oil or balsamic vinegar to get it going again. It should now look something like this:

Once the chicken looks done, remove from heat and cover pan while you put salad together. This will keep chicken moist.

Rinse and cut green onions. As many or as little as you'd like. I will warn you though the onion adds the best flavor to the salad to make sure there's enough. Add to lettuce in bowl and mix well. You can sprinkle a little salt on the lettuce and onions to bring out the onion flavor.

Add the almonds to the salad mixture. Crumble both packages of ramen noodles into small clusters and add to salad mixture.

In a small bowl or cup, take one (just one) of the packages of ramen noodle spices and add it to 1/3 cup of olive oil and 1/4 cup of balsamic. Mix well. The dressing should also be made to taste so feel free to add additional oil or vinegar to your liking. Like this:

Pour dressing over salad mixture.
You can serve chicken over the top or on the side.

Doesn't it look yummy? Hope will eat the chicken, the lettuce (somewhat) and the ramen (she calls them "crunchies") so this meal is very kid friendly for us.

{Keep in mind: leftover chicken bits make a great toddler lunch item.}

Enjoy!

The Irony of the Blog. . .

2010-06-06T14:22:00.002-06:00

So you may have noticed that a few months ago I changed the header on my blog. I had great intentions of starting a new blogging initiative for myself and for the handful of people that read this thing. I have been about what it means to be a "Marketplace Mommy." For me it means that I work in an office, outside of my home. I'm gone three days a week from 8-6 and on those days I struggle to get dinner on the table before Hope heads up to bed. It means that from roughly 8-6; Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, I am working hard at my job which happens to be as a manager in the entertainment industry. It's a job that is both a burden and a blast all at the same time. . .I am so blessed to do what I do.

As I have thought further about where the "marketplace" really is, I have come to understand that it is anywhere outside of our homes. For some mommies it is a full time job. For some it is a home-based business. For others it is the church where they serve in children's ministry or even a blog that reaches across the web. In being a Marketplace Mommy, the point is that we make an impact inside and outside of our homes. It's about not being completely wrapped up in what happens within the walls of our home but seeing outside those walls to our neighbors, our communities, the ministries we are a part of and the people we encounter every single day.

The ironic thing about having a blog like this is that I can never find the time to keep it up. I had lofty ideas about posting easy recipes and tips on how to clean the house in record time, blah, blah, blah. I just can't find the time to do it. So, I write to you humbly to say, bear with me (not that any of you are waiting on the edge of your seat for my advice). I hope to get it together some day soon if for no other reason than to make myself find easy recipes and house cleaning strategies for myself!

Just didn't want to much time to go by with the new header without explaining my heart. I am blessed to know so many women who are making a great impact inside and outside of their homes. I am so thankful for the examples they have been in my life. I hope I can be that kind of example to others.

Jessica

Easy Recipes for Busy Moms

2010-05-24T13:04:00.004-06:00

So I was talking to a girlfriend this morning who is not feeling well today. Neither am I. We talked about our need to go shopping and prepare meals for the week. You could tell neither of us had the motivation to be Rachel Ray this week. It got me thinking that I need to have an arsenal of easy, brainless recipes on hand for days such as today.

I have a few. Pasta with jar sauce always does the trick. And actually, said friend gave me a wonderful taco soup recipe that is very easy in the crock pot. But I'm over pasta and it's too hot for soup so I need something else.

Any ideas for quick and easy recipes, preferably with items I already have on hand? I know, I ask too much. . .

Thoughtfulness

2010-05-12T13:32:00.002-06:00

I went out to dinner with some girlfriends last night. We're all Nashville moms so naturally in between chatting about our kids and our busy lives we talked about the recent Nashville floods and how we wished we could do more to help. It's challenging to do everything you'd like to do with an infant or a toddler in tow. We sat there feeling a bit helpless and a little sorry for ourselves.

As we parted ways my sweet friend Steph handed me a card. It was a bit out of the blue (my birthday is in November). I went home, read the card and was so touched by her thoughtfulness. She simply wanted to let me know she was here for me through all the craziness I've been experiencing lately. She didn't need to rearrange her schedule, she didn't need a babysitter. . .she just took a few moments to write me a very meaningful note.

So it got me thinking. Yes, as a mom to little ones, it's challenging to stop everything, put on a tool belt and install drywall for the hundreds, even thousands of people in our area that need help right now. True, we may not be able to give the amount of time or money we wish we could give to these efforts. But that doesn't mean we should just sit around wishing we could help. What if the most powerful thing we could do as women was encourage one another with our words? So I can't jet over to so and so's house to rip out their moldy carpet. But maybe I can send them a note to let them know I am praying for them. Maybe I could ask 5 women to send a note to the girl who just lost the bottom floor of her house. That might mean more to her than anything.

I guess what I'm saying is. . .while action is noble and selfless, words are powerful and can build up or tear down. As women I believe we can help rebuild Nashville with our words just as much as with our hands. If you can find the time and the strategy to get out there and bring people dinner or water or linens then go for it. If you find yourself completely overwhelmed at the idea of springing to action then I implore you to make thoughtfulness your most powerful tool in serving others.

We just have to get creative. Personally when it comes to thoughtfulness I am inspired by old fashioned means. Facebook is awesome but there's something so wonderful about receiving a hand written note. But that's just me. . .

I pray once again that each of us will find a strategy for giving of ourselves during the rebuilding process in Nashville.
Jessica

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T19:13:00.003-06:00

Mother's Day is such a special day for me. I remember two years ago when I was 3 days away from giving birth to Hope - it was my first mother's day. We came home from church and I took a nap on the couch before we headed to Dave's sister's for lunch. It was the greatest feeling of peace I have ever felt. I was celebrating the fact that my greatest dream was about to be fulfilled.

This Mother's Day was also special (not quite as peaceful though). Hope is about to turn two and with that milestone comes a new level of interaction and conversation. Today we played with dress up clothes all day long. High heels and necklaces, tutus and tiaras. . .I was in heaven with my little girl.

And this morning in church I had a sweet moment with the Lord regarding the babies that I cannot hold on Mother's Day. We sang the song "Blessed Be Your Name" by Matt Redman. You may have read my post a while back about this song. It just happens to come on the radio every time I have a miscarriage. With each of my three miscarriages I've heard this song which is not usually topping the charts. This last time was no exception. So as we sang today on Mother's Day, "You give and take away, you give and take away. My heart will choose to say, Lord blessed be Your name," I lost it. I began to weep and couldn't stop. My heart grieved for those four little souls that I will not know here on this earth. I'm not one to create a memorial to the babies I have lost in the womb but I felt it appropriate to grieve again as their mother this morning. It felt wonderfully sweet to do so.

Those moments made me think long and hard today about mothers that are not yet. . . women who long to be mothers who are waiting on the Lord's timing. My heart hurt for each one who has this longing unfulfilled. I believe that the Lord knows and understands that longing more intimately than we can ever imagine. I pray that any of you in that place will have a renewed sense of hope and peace as you wait on Him. Although the waiting may seem unbearable, His timing is always perfect.

So for all the mother's out there. . .both present and future. . .Happy Mother's Day.

Love,
Jessica

Nashville Disaster Relief

2010-05-04T21:25:00.003-06:00

It's so hard as a mommy to think about taking time out of our hectic schedules to help those around us in need. When I am tempted to use my busyness as an excuse I try to think about the heart I want to help create in my daughter. I want her to be willing to stop everything to help those around her. How will she learn if I do not exemplify that in my own life?

If you are wondering how you might help out with post-flood relief efforts, visit the Hands on Nashville website to volunteer. All relief efforts are running through HON so sign up today if you want to help.

If you have additional information or tips on local efforts, please share.

I'm praying that we can all find some way to pitch in.

Is it really a vacation with a 2 year old in tow?

2010-04-29T07:52:00.005-06:00

I am absolutely in love with Kiawah Island, SC. It's quiet, serene and completely picturesque. There are beaches and parks, trails and markets and right as you enter the island, the most quaint, adorable, little village with restaurants and shops. This place is totally up my ally!

To say we are having fun would be accurate. . .to say that we are relaxing would be a stretch. Is it really a vacation with a 2 year old in tow? Thank the good Lord that my mom and dad are here with us. That provided us the opportunity to go out on a date last night. We had about 3 hours totally to ourselves to venture out and enjoy a meal that didn't consist of spilled beverages or food all over the floor.

Dave and I keep reminding each other that this is just a season. It's an intense season full of whining, fussing, discipline and the occasional moment of peace where we can truly enjoy our sweet Hope. I don't know that I expected to rest on this vacation, ok maybe I hoped that I would. The time will come for us to have more relaxing vacations. For now I look at this as the opportunity for adventure with our toddler. Seeing her face light up as she discovered a horseshoe crab on the beach or the deer hiding in the woods is well worth it all.

Here are a few photos from our adventures so far. I'm sure I will look back on this trip with very fond memories as the reality of traveling with a toddler fades into the future.

How Can I Explain Easter?

2010-04-03T09:14:00.003-06:00

I've been pondering this weekend how to explain Easter to my almost 2 year old. We have a board book about Jesus that mentions we celebrate Easter because Jesus died for us on the cross. We usually breeze past that page as I'm not ready to explain death to my toddler. But how do you share about the holiday without using the words "death" or "suffering"?

This morning I gave it my best shot. "Hope, do you know that tomorrow is Easter? On Easter we celebrate Jesus' biggest miracle. Can you say THANK YOU JESUS?!" And she shouted, "THANK YOU JESUS!" I suppose it's a start. I doubt she'll ask me to explain more about what the miracle actually was. Maybe I don't have to go any further than that but I am burdened by wanting her tiny little heart to understand what Jesus did for her. I know I have years to get there. I guess teaching her to be thankful first is the best start.

How do you share Easter with your little ones? I'd love to hear.

Praying for a thankful heart in all of us this resurrection weekend.
Jessica

Working Mommy Lesson #7

2010-03-11T20:04:00.002-06:00

I would venture to guess that if you are a working mommy, you are probably a highly organized, carefully planned person. Heck, even if you aren't a working mommy you may be this way. But women who work outside the home tend to be even more over the top about things such as time lines and budgets. I know I am. This week I've had my share of lessons. It seems as though the Lord is bringing me through the fire, trying to teach me to let go of the strong hold I have on my plans.

Working Mommy Lesson #7: Plan carefully, but hold things loosely. Be ready for God to show you a completely different map for the road ahead.

It's OK to plan. Actually, it's good to plan. We have to be ready for what's next. So I am an advocate for careful planning. What I'm trying to avoid in my own life is obsessive planning. You know, that kind of planning that keeps you up at night wondering what you can do to make it happen just like you believe it should be. . .

I had it all figured out. We were going to get pregnant right around the first of the year - give or take a few months. I would work until I had baby #2. . .then maybe (hopefully), finally stay home to be with my two kids. If I got pregnant by March, I could work until the end of 2010 and blissfully end my 12 year career in the music industry before 2011 hit my daytimer. Perfect!

I knew it might be hard to get pregnant. Took us almost two years the first time. But we know the drill now so I figured nothing could throw us off track. If it didn't happen at first, I knew the exact measures I needed to take to make it happen.

What happened was not at all part of the plan. Are you shocked? Those of you who read The Pregnancy Companion blog may already know this story. For those who do not, I'll share briefly.

In January, after one month of trying on our own with no ovulation, we started our first round of Clomid (a fertility drug). After my cycle completed we thought I had not ovluated - that it didn't work. I was just about to start another round of the drugs when my OB suggested I take a pregnancy test to make sure. I did and I was. Pregnant that is. Almost immediately there were signs of miscarriage so we were not hopeful that this pregnancy would make it. I went through a week of having my hormone levels checked and then after an ultrasound revealed nothing growing in my uterus, we determined this an official miscarriage. We were disappointed but having been through this before we handled it and continued to trust God for His timing. About 10 days later I began having the most horrible pain I have ever felt. I wasn't sure if this was my body's way of ending this pregnancy but it seemed peculiar to have so much pain for such an early loss. I waited a few days until I couldn't take the pain any longer. After passing out twice on Sunday evening, Dave and I visited the ER on Monday morning.

Dr. Rupe met me there and they did an exam and ultrasound through which we discovered that I must have conceived twins. One made it to my uterus but never really formed. The other implanted in my fallopian tube and caused it to rupture, thus causing all of the pain. I had emergency surgery to remove the baby and with it one of my tubes.

I don't know if my heart has even processed the fact that I technically lost 2 babies through this ordeal. It all happened so oddly that I never had time to attach myself to the idea of a life (or two) growing inside me. The funny thing is, the whole experience has left me completely at peace with the Lord's timing. As I carefully planned my adventure into the world of stay-at-home mommyhood I would have never thought it would include conception of twins, an ectopic pregnancy and losing one of my tubes. Gosh - His version of the story is so much more crazy! I will never understand why He allowed us to go through all of this. I've stopped trying to make sense of His ways. I simply have to trust His heart. I know that God is good and faithful and as much as this reality completely sucks, I trust Him.

Whatever you are planning, whatever you are looking forward to. . .hold it loosely. Trust Him and His perfect timing for everything in your life. As we wait, we are forced to draw closer to Him and seek His will and that my friends is the best type of "planning" we can do. I promise I'll do the same as I continue this journey. Hey - maybe I'll become a stay-at-home mom before I have another baby. Wow, what would I do with all that extra time? Shopping? Spa days? Oh wait, if I stop working I won't have any money. Oh well, I'll just wait and see what happens.

My New "Mommy" Project

2010-02-15T13:33:00.005-06:00

I figured it was about time I shared with you all about a project I am working on with my friend and OB, Dr. Heather Rupe. Many of you already know about this so if you do, consider this one less blog post you have to read this week. Go check out someone else's blog for 5 minutes and give us a chance to catch up. : )

Two years ago when I was pregnant with Hope the Lord gave me an idea to create a Christian women's resource that would offer a faith-filled guide to pregnancy and childbirth. Naturally I approached Dr. Rupe about partnering with me on this project. Almost two years later, we are half-way done with the manuscript and we are days away from signing a publishing deal! It's amazing how God plants and idea in your heart and then orders the steps to see it come to fruition. Heather and I are so excited to be working on such a needed resource in our market.

The book will be called The Pregnancy Companion (that is unless the publisher tries to change that). You can follow us now on www.thepregnancycompanion.com and www.facebook.com/thepregnancycompanion.

Our goal is to provide all of the necessary medical information for a fully informed pregnancy while balancing that with a faith based perspective to offer sure peace throughout pregnancy and childbirth.

We hope that you will join us on this journey. The book will not release for another 12 or so months but we hope to offer some good information and tips in the meantime.

Thanks for your prayers as we continue to seek the Lord on what should be included in this book. We want it to be a blessing to moms-to-be for years to come!

Working Mommy Lesson #6

2010-01-15T15:06:00.003-06:00

I can't believe what an amazing day we are having today in the middle of January! Which brings me to another working mommy lesson.

Working Mommy Lesson #6: No matter what work is waiting for you, take hold of every opportunity to make a memory with your child.

Sure, the to do list is longer than ever...email is piling up. But it's Friday and I'm technically "off". It's sunny and 55 degrees in January! So Hope and I did the obvious. We dug the playhouse out of storage, grabbed the big bouncy ball and a glass of ice water and we came outside. She's having a blast and I'm being rejuvinated. I bet the work that is waiting will get done more quickly because I took this break with Hope.

Oh no, speaking of that glass of water, she just spilled it all over herself. Gotta go clean up this memory!

Hope you find time to enjoy the nice weather. That is of course if you are having it!

How Do You See Jesus?

2010-01-05T17:00:00.005-06:00

We have this mirror in the bathroom where Hope takes a bath. It's one of those celestial sun and moon varieties. This one is the moon. You know, the one with the chubby cheeks. Every time we give Hope a bath, snuggle her up in her towel and then walk out the door we pass this mirror. . .and every time she smiles, points and says, "Jesus" like she's so relieved he's still there on the wall watching over her. At first I was horrified. What kind of new-age operation does she think we're running over here? She did it again last night and almost giggled as she looked at it. Dave and I always giggle ourselves and we wonder why she thinks of Jesus when she sees the mirror. Mr. Moon does look kind and peaceful and like he's watching over us so it's not a completely crazy idea. After all, she's 20 months old how should she know what Jesus looks like?!

It's made me think lately. How do I see Jesus? It's hard to get the typical dark haired, fully robed image out of my head. I'm sure even that image is far from reality. Seeing Jesus through the eyes of my child and our Mr. Moon mirror has made me focus more on his countenance and less on his appearance. Jesus oozed love and peace and a steadfast spirit. He was not anxious, confused, at odds or any of the emotions we feel on a daily basis.

I also want to ooze these things so that people can see Jesus in me. If my toddler sees any part of Jesus in our Mr. Moon mirror, she had better see it in me as well.

I'll add this to my goals for 2010!
Happy New Year everyone!

Simplicity Project #15

2009-12-28T21:10:00.004-06:00

I can't believe this will be my last Simplicity Project post. I have to admit, as much as I was committed to this idea, I don't feel like I accomplished much. I just took a look at my pantry, for instance, and I desperately need to give it another overhaul. It just goes to show you that simplicity is an ongoing process. I suppose I had hoped to feel simple at the end of 2009. Simple. . .is the last thing I feel right now. But alas, I will not give up.

The irony of the whole thing is in the project I am working on this month. If you remember, the very first simplicity post I did in 2009 unveiled my brand new, organized office space. Just about one year later, I have torn that room apart and converted it into a playroom for Hope. That is my project for the month. I do not have pictures to share since we're in progress and it might take some time to finish up the switcheroo. You'll just have to trust me that I am finishing the year well with a project that is transforming my living room back into a living room and providing Hope a great space to play with all those toys she got for Christmas. The office is currently in boxes in my bedroom sitting room, but I'm not going to think about that mess tonight.

Although I still feel like my home is full of clutter, I have learned a lot this year on this simplicity journey. Simplicity is somewhat in your mind. As completely blessed (or should I say, spoiled?) Americans, we will always have excess in our lives. The important thing is to do what you can to access your possessions on a regular basis. Do I really need this anymore? Would it bless someone else? Why am I holding onto this? Can I find a better place for this? It is an ongoing process. I am completely committed to it, but I will not let the delay in achieving "simplicity" create extra stress in my heart and mind. It would be easy to throw my hands up in surrender, admitting that I'll never get to the finish line. But I have to keep going. True, I will likely redo most of the simplicity projects I completed in 2009. But isn't that part of the great circle of living? To live is to create more clutter, more laundry, more reasons to clean the house. . .

As 2009 comes to a close, I encourage you all with this truth:

The laundry and that pile of papers that needs to be filed, don't know how long they've been sitting there. You'll get to them someday. . .and then the next day, they'll be right back there waiting for you again.

Happy New Year!

Christmas Card Inventory

2009-12-09T20:58:00.004-06:00

Tonight I addressed our Christmas cards. I became especially introspective about our relationships as I studied last year's address list. I think holiday card preparation is a (not always welcomed) opportunity to take inventory of your friendships at the end of each year. I haven't spoken to them all year. Why did we send them a card last year? Oh, shoot. . .I need to add them. . .and them. . .and them. To be honest, it was a little sad for me this time. I feel like we are in a lot of transition with our relationships and the Christmas card process is brining that more and more to light. There are many people that simply aren't as much a part of our lives now and yet many new friendships that are blossoming. I suppose this is all part of the circle of life. It just makes me wonder if anything is forever when it comes to relationships.

I pray that no matter what changes due to circumstances or geography, I will always be a faithful friend to those that God puts in my life. Even if the intensity or level of closeness changes, I hope to always keep a special place in my heart for people I've walked with. Right now I am asking God to show me how to be willing to let go while also being willing to honor the place people have had in my life during different seasons.

Simple Thoughts, Round 4

2009-12-01T20:59:00.003-06:00

I am very sorry to say I missed November's Simplicity Project. Does cleaning out the turkey count?! Let's call this one a few hours (20 to be exact) late.

Since this post falls right in the middle of the end of November and the beginning of December, I'd like to talk about simplifying Christmas gifts. Last year I read an article that included this idea. Dave and I agreed to immediately implement it so that Hope understood from the beginning that Christmas is not about her. Each year we now give each other 3 gifts. Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. . .

Gold - the big gift we've been wanting or hoping for (this year Hope is getting a big, comfy chair I know she'll love climbing in and out of).
Frankincense - something for the body.
Myrrh - something for our spiritual development.

I cannot tell you how this helps us keep things in perspective. I am one that could go nuts buying gifts. I love to buy fun things for people. It's so easy to go crazy thinking Hope needs every one of those cute new toys out there. But in reality, she does not. What she actually needs is to learn that Christmas is about the greatest gift of all, our Saviour Jesus Christ.

I encourage every one of you to simplify the holidays in whatever way makes sense for your family so that He can be the centerpiece of the season.

Enjoy the magic and the miracle of December.

Pre-Holiday Christmas Outfit Photo Shoot

2009-11-28T17:38:00.004-06:00

Yesterday we ventured out to do a pre-holiday, Christmas outfit photo shoot. I am amazed that Hope sat still long enough for me to catch any of these shots. Thank goodness for the quick trigger on my camera. Isn't she a vision?!?!

Working Mommy Lesson #5

2009-11-17T17:02:00.005-06:00

This lesson is actually for every mommy. Not just the ones deemed "working mommies." We all work hard after all!

{Working} Mommy Lesson #5: Take Time To Get Away {preferably with friends who make you happy!}.

I went to Chicago this weekend with two of my girlfriends. We had a blast shopping, eating, seeing the sites. . .did I mention shopping? What more could a gal ask for? Good deals, good company and good food. . .including the biggest piece of chocolate cake you've ever seen in your life. Now that's a yummy weekend!

Every mommy should do this at least once a year!

Birthday Ponderings

2009-11-09T20:58:00.002-06:00

Today I turned 33. I was reminded by many people today that 33 is the age Jesus was when He completed His ministry on earth. That thought of course, left me feeling a bit behind. I'd better get to work on changing the world if I'm ever going to come close to being like Jesus before I leave this earth. I hope you don't find me disrespectful for speaking in jest as it relates to the Savior. I'd like to think He has a good sense of humor about our working so hard to be like Him. I know that is His goal after all - that we would be like Him - but nevertheless, He must find our efforts laughable.

I did a lot of thinking today about the next year. . .the next few years actually. As I sat cuddling Hope after her nap, I thought a lot about who I wanted to become. Even though I was a mom on my birthday last year, it seemed completely different now that Hope was walking and talking and acting like a little person. Her future is so much more tangible to me now that she can say "future" (among a hundred other words). I sat there thinking that I needed to get my head in the game. I use this phrase often, usually referring to work. As a mom I don't always feel like I have my head in the work game. But as a working mom, I don't always feel like I have my head in the mommy game. I know there is a balance. Some days I think I've found it. I just felt so heavily today that I need to be functioning with such precision when it comes to Hope and even more so because I am a working mom.

So as the celebration of my thirty-third year comes to a close, I begin the next year with great ambition to live life with just enough precision to be the mommy Hope needs, the wife Dave needs, and the servant my family, friends, clients and coworkers need. But I also hope to live with enough humility to be dependent only on my Heavenly Father so that He will receive the glory for every good thing I accomplish.

Thanks to all my precious family and friends who have taught me so much about living life this way. Here's to many years of learning this game together. I love you all!

Working Mommy Lesson #4

2009-11-02T15:26:00.006-06:00

I'll start this post with a few pics from the pumpkin farm for those of you that visit this blog more for Hope photos and updates then for my ponderings. Isn't she sweet? I sure do think so.

Believe it or not, I already have another working mommy lesson to share with all of you. This one came this morning.

Working Mommy Lesson #4: Don't Apologize That You Are a Mom.

Mondays are one of my days home with Hope. Given the nature of my job, I do work on Mondays and some Mondays I even have to do meetings. This Monday was one of them however I did not have any childcare. My mom or my mother-in-law could have watched Hope but we are going out of town tomorrow (for work) and I make sure to never take advantage of my childcare (another working mommy lesson I'll save for later). So there was no childcare this morning which meant I took Hope with me to pick up my client and we dropped him off at the meeting instead of attending (although we working mommies do keep the world turning, sometimes it just has to spin without us). When my client stuck his head in the back of the car to greet Hope as he climbed in, she immediately began to cry and did not stop until after he was long out of her sight.

I felt horrible and unprofessional and wondered why this client would want such a scattered mommy to be his manager. Thank God he has small children himself and understands how it goes. Yet still. . .I was less than my best on the job this morning.

I felt guilty for about an hour until I was driving home and that working mommy lesson voice spoke very clearly, "Don't apologize that you are a mom." I'm a mom first (especially on Mondays) and everyone I work with and work for knew that going in. I've actually begged my boss to fire me, telling him I just don't cut it in this role as a mom. When I say this - which is about once every three months - he gives me a pep talk and tells me what a good job I'm doing. Perhaps someday he'll realize that a screaming toddler is not the best representation of our company, but until then I am not going to feel bad that sometimes my role as a mom overlaps my role as a manager.

Sure, I might be a little embarrassed when my child acts out in front of my coworkers. And I might be horrified when she cries so loud I can't talk to the client I see in person only three times a year. But I will not apologize that I am a mom or for anything that comes with that. Actually, I'm probably a better manager for it. . .since I know how to deal with high maintenance people that need constant attention.

: )

Working Mommy Lesson #3

2009-10-24T08:24:00.003-06:00

Actually, this lesson is for everyone, not just working moms. But it struck me this week as something I should share for any of us who feel over-extended from time to time.

Working Mommy Lesson #3: Give, and Get Grace.

This past Monday I had the pleasure of watching my friend Terri's two children. I gladly offered to help out on my day off because I love her kids and I knew it would be no trouble at all. I also knew that Terri would do the same for me if I needed it. Although I knew her kids would be wonderfully behaved and would not add any extra stress, I wondered if I would be able to find the time to get things done around the house and complete the work I needed to that day. The day came and went and of course they were angels (I'm not just saying that because she reads my blog). And as I settled in for the night, I couldn't believe how much I accomplished - both at home and with work.

The week progressed and the grace continued to come. Each day at work seemed to bring about much accomplishment and at home I seemed to get even more done than usual.

As I ended the week last night, I began to reflect on how it began and I felt God whisper, "Give, and get grace." I realized that even as a busy, working mom, this is the king of life I want to live. I don't want to say no just because I'm afraid it will be too much. I want to give and give and trust God for the grace to give some more.

So dear friends, bring it on! Let's cultivate a life of giving to one another and a community that can depend on one another. Give, and get grace. . .all the grace that you need!

Seriously, there IS a diaper fairy!

2009-10-19T15:12:00.004-06:00

I know, I know. You are all so sick and tired of my bragging about Amazon subscribe and save and how I get my diapers delivered right to my door. You too can participate in this amazing feature of the modern world. Sorry to harp on it, but I had to share about my recent run in with the diaper fairy.

Just 5 minutes ago I was sitting on the floor with Hope, looking at a toy catalog while watching Oprah (yes, we're having a productive afternoon). I realized she had a poopie diaper - the third one today. I thought about how there were no more diapers downstairs and strategized how I would run up quickly while leaving Hope alone in the living room. I'm sure that the department of child services wouldn't come get me for leaving a 17 month old unattended in the living room for 45 seconds, but then again, they don't know my daughter. The other day I took my eyes off of her for a minute and then discovered she had climbed all the way up the stairs into her room to get a toy then was making her way back down the stairs before I grabbed her off the third step from the top. . .but I digress. . .

So I was just about to sprint up the stairs to grab some diapers when I caught a glimpse of something colorful through my front door window. Purple. . .yellow. . .could it be?? YES! The diaper fairy had come and left me such a simple and wonderful gift. Diapers, free of the 45 second sprint up and down the stairs.

I can hardly believe it. It's true Virginia, there is a diaper fairy. And she comes right when you need her.

Simplicity Project #14

2009-10-11T19:30:00.004-06:00

The Coupon Game

I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted. And I am very sorry that I missed September's Simplicity Project post. I'm sure you are all relieved to know I don't have it all together.

Last month I tackled several little projects like cleaning out my closet to see what clothing items I really need for the fall. I actually found a few dresses (no kidding, they were stuck underneath some other clothes in the corner) and within 15 minutes of finding them, I put together two really cute outfits with sweaters and shoes I already had. It's amazing what an hour of cleaning can do for your wardrobe! I also cleaned out Hope's closet and transferred her summer clothes to my consignment pile.

This month, I decided to post about couponing. You may be asking what that has to do with simplicity. If any of you participate in the coupon game, you know it can be very complicated. I kept hearing about all these women who were saving hundreds of dollars a month using coupons. Women who spend $40 a week to feed a family of four. After probing further, I realized these women spend most of their free time up to their eyeballs in coupon clippings and they typically go to a grocery store every day. I don't know about you, but I don't have time for that!

My great friend Terri (who happens to be amazing at everything she puts her hands to) told me about some great websites that have made the coupon game one that is easy to master. The women writing these blogs do all the work for you! They research store ads, coupon circulars and everything you need to know to get the best deals possible.

My favorite is www.southernsavers.com She lays out every ad for the week and then lists and links to coupons for each item on sale. Last week I got Pillsbury cookie dough for .45 and coffee that is usually $5.79 a bag for $1.59 a bag.

There are many sites out there and you really could spend all your free time playing this game. In the spirit of simplicity, I have adopted a few, simple rules that allow me to participate in the savings without spending a lot of my time.

My Rules for Effective Coupon Savings:
- Pick a store and stick with it. (I choose Publix - I love Publix)
- Pick one website that covers that store's circular. (Southern Savers covers them all)
- Go through the list of items on special and write down only the things you really need. (With Publix, I concentrate on the BOGO deals)
- The site will cross reference the store deals with newspaper and online printable coupons. Cut or print coupons for only the items you will likely buy.
- Plan to do your shopping on the same day each week so you can coordinate with in store deals.
- Stock up only on the items you know you will use within a month. (No one needs canned soup stocked up for a year - that is not simple living!)

Last week I did stock up on cereal because we eat it every day. With the BOGO deals and the coupons, I got 4 boxes for $1.25 a piece. That is a great deal for cereal! I spent $150 on groceries last week - which may not seem like a deal - but most of those groceries will last me all month. I may return to Publix once or twice this month for fresh produce and a few odds and ends.

The important thing is to find a simple couponing plan that works for you and your household. Don't become obsessed with saving. If you get too overwhelmed, you may be saving money, but it will cost you your mind.

Working Mommy Lesson #2

2009-09-24T12:14:00.005-06:00

Who knew the lessons would come so frequently. . .

This week I am pondering another working mommy lesson. Hang with me here as I process a bit as I write.

Working Mommy Lesson #2: As working mommies, it's OK live a compartmentalized life.

My pastor talks a lot about living a "fully-integrated life". He encourages that our Sunday morning worship should bleed into our mid-week life. . .that the way we serve at home should show up in our workplace and so on and so forth. I am absolutely on board with this belief. The only way to truly live as Christ is to be the same everyday of our lives. There is nothing worse than a Christian who does not carry the same heart with them on Tuesday as they do on Sunday. Actually, it's pretty pathetic.

I guess at some point though, I adapted the belief that living a fully-integrated life meant that I carried work home with me, that I let it invade my head and my emotions when I should otherwise be focusing elsewhere. I suppose I've thought that fully-integrated went both ways. If my worship and the person that I am should bleed into my work, then the visa verse should be as well. Although this seems to be the right notion, I think I'm missing something here.

I believe this is true for all of us, most of all working mommies. While we need our worship and our love to show up in every area of our lives, we do not need our work pressure or our work stress to show up there as well. I got in my car this evening burdened by a silly little thing that happened at work. It was so small and trivial and yet I let it eat away at me. Then it dawned on me that I needed to leave it there, in the parking lot. If I so choose, I could pick it back up there in the parking lot tomorrow but perhaps by then I will have forgotten all about it. Each and every night as I leave my role as a manager I need to close that compartment of my life until I open it back up again the next day. With this job it seems almost impossible to do that but I have to at least try. When I carry those burdens home with me I am not helping anyone. On those rare occasions where that "thing" is truly a big deal, maybe I'll carry it home in a trusty little portable container and open it back up once Hope has gone to sleep. OK, maybe I've gone to far with the imagery here.

I guess what I'm trying to say is. . .it's OK to compartmentalize some things. I think we have to or we'll go mad. We need boundaries in life and sometimes those compartments are just that, offering us the opportunity to differentiate between what is important in the moment and what can wait.

I am committed to living a fully-integrated life when it comes to everything good and holy and pleasing to the Lord. But when it comes to those things He warns us against just as worry and stress and even fear of failure, you'd better believe my office is soon going to look like the Container Store.

Mark. Mag Sighting

2009-09-10T19:30:00.004-06:00

Just when I was about to cancel my Lucky subscription because I'm not cool enough for the magazine, I was validated by the fact that they covered not one, not two, but three Mark products in the September issue. That's right . . . even I am on the cutting edge of beauty!

I think I'll still cancel my subscription. The outfits they put together in there are just too funky for me. Every time I flip through Lucky I am torn between my own personal style and the one I think I need to have to match the pages of the magazine. It's sheer torture!

Yet, still . . . I am glad to know I'm not totally behind the times. At least I can say I have that necklace they are calling a "fixation".

Don't forget to check out my Mark store: www.mymarkstore.com/jwolstenholm

I just got the Christmas preview in the mail today. There is some really cute stuff coming. Can't wait to share about it.

Working Mommy Lesson #1

2009-09-07T19:48:00.003-06:00

This weekend I learned a very valuable working mommy lesson and I thought I should share it here. I'll share these lessons from time to time (as I learn them myself) and hopefully my doing so will save some other, poor, working mommy from having to learn them on her own.

Working Mommy Lesson #1: Business and Family Travel Don't Mix

While I am an advocate of the thought that business and family MUST be able to mix, I am now a proponent for travel as an exception to that rule.

This weekend I traveled to South Florida (where I grew up) to see the band I manage do a concert. It was the perfect scenario. Although my job was going to take me away for the weekend, I could bring Hope and visit my family. My parents even decided to come with me. How perfect! What could go wrong? My parents would be there to help me.

About an hour after we arrived at my grandma's house, Hope came down with a fever of 103.5 - a pretty dangerous level, even at her age. Despite many rounds of Motrin, Tylenol and a cool, damp cloth the fever hovered around 102.5 throughout the night and the next day. In addition to the fever, Hope began drooling like a Saint Bernard, soaking 2 shirts a day with gobs of saliva. She's never been a drooler so I was baffled by this mess. I figured she was teething but still. . . How much drool can a petite little girl make for 1 or 2 teeth? And what are the odds a toddler would cut several major teeth AND have a virus the very same weekend I chose to take her away with me for work?

Needless to say, I didn't make it to the show. I had to call my client and let them know that motherhood was calling and I would not be there to see them. Of course they understood, but I was horrified to not be able to follow through with my commitment to them. Even though my parents were there and graciously offered to watch their screaming granddaughter while I went to the concert, I could not bear the thought of leaving her or leaving them with her all night.

The weekend proved to be one of the most horrible of my life. Even though I had lots of help around me, I didn't have Dave (thank God for Dave) so I felt a bit alone. Not only did I feel guilty that Hope was feeling so badly and there was nothing I could do - I added to that the guilt of letting down a client because my primary role is as a mommy.

I know now that I should never have put myself, Hope or my client in the position where I'd have to choose like that. Of course I was going to choose Hope - no question about that. But I need to save myself from having to make decisions like this in regards to work vs. family. We have been thinking about another work/family trip this coming November but I am now very sure I need to take that one alone and save everyone the hassle. It's just not worth it (well maybe if work took me to Hawaii or something it would be worth it).

So, all of you working mommies out there. . .don't be tempted to bring your young child on a business trip, even if it's to Disney World. Perhaps at some point the benefits outweigh the risks, but not at 16 months. With a toddler, a virus is much more of a possibility than free, family fun!

Pray Without Ceasing?

2009-09-02T19:46:00.006-06:00

In the most literal sense of the verse, my little Hope is grabbing hold of prayer before she even knows what it means. Every morning when I drop Hope off at mom and dad's we eat breakfast together, and we always pray before the meal. One morning we forgot to pray (gasp!) and mom made a big deal about it with Hope. Hope caught on quickly because she loves to fold her hands and pray before each meal.

A few days later, Dave and Hope and I had just sat down to dinner when all of a sudden she starts whining (almost yelling) to get our attention. I look over and she has her hands folded and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt she is saying, "Hey, we gotta pray Mommy. We gotta pray Daddy." And so we prayed. I think four times. We thanked Jesus for our food and for our family and as always we said, "Amen." (Which, when Hope says it, sounds like Emmie - her cousin's name).

Since then, I find Hope folding her hands and telling me we need to pray at all sorts of times of the day. The other day we prayed in the middle of reading a story and thanked Jesus for books. We prayed while mommy was going pee-pee in the potty and thanked Jesus for toilets (yes, thank you Jesus). And of course, we always pray at the end of the day and thank Jesus for getting us through it (and that Hope would sleep through the night).

I captured this shot the other day during one of those moments she wanted to pray. We were watching Imagination Movers at the time. Thank you Jesus for Playhouse Disney.

Who knew my little one would grab on to prayer this early in life? I realize she has no idea what it's really about yet - she just thinks it's fun to fold her hands and say Jesus. (Which, when Hope says it, sounds like Gigi - her grandma's name).

Perhaps we can take a few ques from my naive 16 month old. Praying should be fun, it should be exciting and it should come naturally to every one of us. God forgive me for not stopping to thank you for every little thing, every minute of every day.

Simplicity Project #13

2009-08-29T14:08:00.004-06:00

As I'm sure you could tell from my lack of posts this month, life has been a bit nutty lately. Hope is as busy as ever and so is mommy. Work has been completely overwhelming and I think I had my first anxiety attack the other day. But despite the craziness, I find myself able to grab on to the peace of Jesus in the midst of it all. Though needless to say, blogging has taken a bit of a back burner.

I am happy to report as a follow up from Simplicity Project #12 that I made $182 from the Encores and More Consignment sale. So all in all it was worth the work! I recommend you consign in the February 2010 sale. This was the first time I participated in the adult/home decor sale and I am surprised to say I got a bigger return on investment from that sale than the kid's sale.

This month I tackled my pantry. The pantry is the one area of the house that seems to get messy very quickly. With a toddler constantly running between my legs, I usually throw things on a shelf and slam the door before she can begin rummaging through the trash. It's become a little game I play. . .how fast can mommy put away the Cheerios before Hope comes to call? She usually wins. That little bugger is fast!

Here is the pantry before. . .

And after. . .

I re-designated shelves for different categories. Snacks. Hope's snacks. Baking items. Canned goods. Breakfast foods. Etc, etc. I purchased a few containers to hold cereal and rice so that they appeared more neatly on the shelves as well as used several bins I had on hand to keep things like baking items or taco seasoning packets in place. Now, the difference is nothing earth shattering but I can assure you, it's much more organized than it was before. It just feels good to know things have their proper place.

Who wants to place bets on how long it says neatly organized?

Mommy sells Mark.

2009-08-14T17:04:00.006-06:00

So, remember when I was studying Proverbs 31 earlier this year? Well, I've continued to chew on that passage and actually found an interesting and practical book on the subject. The study breaks down the verses and covers all of the attributes of the Proverbs 31 woman and what that meant for her life as a wife, mother, homemaker and entrepreneur.

For months I've been considering the idea that the P31 woman did not have idle hands (she worked hard) and she worked out of her home, contributing financially to the household. Although the season for me to work from home is a bit down the road for us, I have felt compelled to get started with projects and endeavors that could someday allow me that pleasure.

A few months back my mom (who has always contributed financially to our household) began selling Avon. In an effort to support her (and because I am obsessed with makeup) I started trying different Avon products. I have to say, I have been pleasantly surprised with Avon! This ain't your granny's Avon anymore people! Just about everything I have tried is great and the prices are amazing!

Avon recently launched a new brand called Mark. Mark is their fabulous brand for younger women and includes products geared towards college girls. Mark is a lot like MAC makeup. Funky colors, high pigmentation, lots of lip gloss. To be honest, I have always wanted to like MAC products but actually have not. The eye shadow was too heavy for me and made my eyes tear up. The Mark shadows have the same great pigmentation but don't make me cry. And the prices are great to boot! You can get 2 shadows and a blush custom picked in a case for $22 total. $22 girls! Those same 2 shadows and a blush would cost about $45-$50 from MAC. You've got to give Mark a try!

How's that for my first sales pitch? Yup, you guessed it. I have found my momtrepreneurial endeavor. I am selling Mark makeup. Having worked for Clinique for over 5 years, selling makeup should come pretty easy to me. I realized how much I missed playing with lipstick and mascara and this is going to be so much better because with Mark I'm not a slave to the local mall!

I am really looking forward to diving into this business. With my mom selling Avon, I am excited we can work together to build our businesses. Both Avon and Mark have great products that are so affordable. And let's face it, now is not the time to spend lots of money on makeup. So many people are needing to cut back on different areas of their spending and mom and I are here to say. . .you can look great for less!

Check out my online store:
www.mymarkstore.com/jwolstenholm

And while you are at it, check out mom's too:
www.youravon.com/jgiglione

Even if you are not ready to purchase new makeup, go ahead and sign up for an account so I can send you emails about special deals. The great deal right now is FREE shipping with any purchase. Simply enter the code BACK2SKL at checkout.

I'll do some Mark posts from time to time, telling you about my latest makeup obsession and sharing fun tips. I hope you all think talking about makeup is as much fun as I do. I mean, come on. . .who gets tired of chatting about lip gloss?!

The Great Milk Debate

2009-08-10T16:36:00.003-06:00

This week I've been doing a lot of research on the benefits of organic milk verses conventional milk. Most of my girlfriends feed their children organic milk exclusively which is something I have never had a strong conviction about. I trust these girls and their desire to provide their families the healthiest foods possible so I decided to do some research on the subject in hopes to find compelling evidence that I should be doing the same.

I am sorry to report I've got nothing. Most articles I was able to find on the web had outdated or inconclusive evidence. Most sources that claim the definite benefits of organic milk (and other products) are what I like to call health crazies. Of course they are going to say that. They are biased. Most other articles were on the fence about the subject arguing everything from the proof that organic milk is in fact more rich in Omega 3's to the idea that because organic milk is pasteurized at a much higher temp (450 degrees +) that there is no way essential nutrients could survive the process.

What I'm really looking for is a neutral source. . .say CNN or NBC News. . .that has done due diligence on either side of the subject. Someone who is obviously not biased who can convince me that organic milk is worth two and sometimes three times the price of conventional milk.

I would love to hear from any of you who know of such a source. I am completely open. I just need to know the facts. Please share if you have additional information on the debate. For now. . .I'll just keep praying over every cup of milk Hope drinks. . .and everything else she puts into her mouth for that matter. Because let's face it, nothing is as it seems with anything we consume.

Tweet Mommy

2009-08-03T08:42:00.003-06:00

Well. . .I did it. I finally signed up for Twitter. Don't be fooled and think I'm excited about this. I work in the entertainment industry and I was tired of sitting in marketing meetings not having any idea what people where talking about. I kept calling them "twits" (seemed fitting to me) when I should have been saying "tweets". Duh! So I caved. I signed up so I can test ideas and at least say I'm keeping up with the trends.

If you have nothing better to do than read what I'm doing at any given moment, then follow me! : ) I'm @jwolstenholm.

How exhausting.

New Floors!

2009-07-31T14:52:00.004-06:00

Last weekend we had hardwood floors installed in our kitchen, dining room and foyer. Thought I would post a few pics for those of you who have asked how they look.

While I'm at it, I might as well tell you the God-story involved with these beautiful floors. We looked at these floors at Home Depot but they were way out of our budget. We couldn't find much that we liked within our limited budget. Of course, I'm the one with expensive taste and a tight wallet! My friend Kristy's dad is a builder so we decided to ask his advice. While we were talking he quickly mentioned he saw some walnut flooring on Craig's List. I had never thought of looking there for floors! Strollers, yes. Floors, no.

I went online the next day and lo and behold. . .there were walnut floors on Craig's List. . .actually the very same walnut floors we had coveted at Home Depot - for 1/2 the price! Five days later we had them installed and viola! Here they are. Isn't it amazing how God will give you exactly what you are hoping for. . .and in the oddest ways?!?! He cares about our silliest desires.

Now I'm looking for new accents to go with my floors. Isn't that always the way. . .you spend money on one feature and it leads to spending more money on others!!

Hope you like them!

Simplicity Project #12

2009-07-24T08:10:00.003-06:00

This month I am participating in the big, Franklin consignment sale called Encores and More. As I gathered the items I wanted like to sell over the past 6 months, I simply threw them in our spare bedroom upstairs. It's sorta become the junk room in our house and preparing for the sale made it even worse. If my friend Amber is reading this, she is laughing because her poor son Anderson had to sleep amongst this mess a few weekends ago. Sorry Amber and Anderson!

I've spent several hours over the past 3 weeks getting everything ready for the sale but I have the potential of making about $350 so to me it was worth the work.

Here is my spare room before. . .

And after. . .

It feels so great to have that room cleared out!

Tonight I get to go shopping with all the other crazy, consignment sale mommies. It's ironic that I am basically trading all my crap for someone else's. But I have a system where whatever I make goes to pay for anything new I need for Hope for the next season. So in theory, I never have to spend any of our monthly budget on clothes and toys for Hope!

I'll let you know how it goes and how much money I make.

The Diaper Fairy

2009-07-20T13:23:00.002-06:00

Right now I am sitting out on my front porch, rocking and enjoying some amazing weather. Who knew you could enjoy 78 degree, sunny days in the middle of July?! What a gift!

Speaking of gifts. . .as I rock, I am staring at two boxes of Pampers diapers that were just delivered to my door. I walked outside to get the mail and poof! There they were. . .as if the diaper fairy flew by and plopped them right down on my porch. As a working mom who usually has to plan grocery trips between lunch meetings or on the way home, I am so blessed by this little thing called Amazon Subscribe and Save.

I think I've mentioned this before but it seems no one else believes this service is from heaven. I feel like I walk around telling everyone I know about how they can save time and money but no one hears me. Perhaps God created this little convenience just for me. I'm okay with that.

In case you are interested. Here's how it works. If you shop on Amazon for things like diapers, wipes, laundry detergent, etc, you will find some items are part of the Subscribe and Save program. Pampers happens to be one of those items. Not all boxes are eligible but I simply pick the ones that are. We use Pampers Cruisers diapers and I have checked every single outlet for them. Aside from occasionally having a Target coupon at the same time the diapers are on sale (slim chance that will happen often), this is the cheapest you will find Pampers Cruisers (up to size 4. . . I've not priced out the bigger ones yet). After you pull up your desired item on Amazon, look off to the right side column. If it is eligible for the Subscribe and Save program, you will see a box asking how many you would like and how often.

For size 3 diapers, considering that fact that with Amazon you pay no tax and no shipping and that you receive an extra 15% discount on the price with the program, I was getting the diapers for 24 cents a piece. Cheaper than Costco or Sams! Now that Hope has moved to size 4, they cost a whopping 28 cents a piece, still 1 cent less per diaper than other stores and I don't have to remember to go out and get them! Just like today. . .the diaper fairy (in partnership with Amazon.com) comes right to my door!

I cannot express how much this service has changed my life for the last 6 months that I have been using it. I will warn you, the diapers are really the only thing I have found that end up saving time AND money. . .although I am in the middle of researching detergent, toilet paper, paper towels, etc and will report what I find.

I hope you find this information helpful. If not, that's cool. I'll continue to sit here rocking and thanking my personal diaper fairy for blessing me with the freedom to never have to run out at 9pm on a Thursday night because we are out of diapers. It's the little things in life that count. Really.

Tutu Twirls

2009-07-09T10:01:00.003-06:00

My mom bought Hope a tutu. Well actually, it's more of a fairy skirt tutu. You know. . . strips of tulle hanging down. . . the perfect piece to twirl in. Even at the young age of 14 months, she knows how to twirl and I couldn't be more thrilled about it.

Every morning when I take Hope to mom's house, mom makes me breakfast and we feed Hope. Then I play with her for a few minutes before rushing out the door to the office. This morning during play time we put on some music and of course, the tutu. She danced and twirled and my heart just soared. There is nothing like watching the sweet femininity of your baby girl come to life before your eyes. It's like she is programmed to know that dancing is what little girls do.

I am so thankful for these moments when I get to realize fully that I am a mommy to a little girl. To me, it's a dream come true! I hope to have a tutu pic to share soon. It's tough to catch her when she's dancing around the room!

In A Groove. . .

2009-07-06T12:46:00.003-06:00

I'm sitting here at home working a bit this afternoon. Hope is upstairs sleeping after a rather full weekend. Actually, she's battling quite a cold today and should be miserable, but alas. . . she is asleep. Thank God!

As I sit here working, I can't help but ponder the fact that I feel like I am really in a groove as it relates to work. So much so that I wonder when the "you know what" is going to hit the fan. Is it possible that I've gotten a better handle on this marketplace mommy thing? I can promise you this, work is busy. There is a lot going on and some days I feel completely in over my head. But the odd thing is, I feel very much at peace.

I am a firm believer that many things in life are mind over matter. If we can just wrap our minds around the matter at hand, we'll likely be able to see it with a fresh pair of eyes and many times, those fresh eyes see things much less fuzzy and much more beautifully. For some reason (and I'll betcha that reason is God) I have a new outlook on being a working mom. Sure, my house is in desperate need of a good cleaning and I may not get to it until my next day off on Friday but what does that matter? Is the clean police coming on Thursday? As long as my child is happy and healthy (ok, today I'll take happy) and the same goes for my husband then we're doing pretty well.

I think at the root of my new found peace is the fact that God has given me great revelation that's allowed me to take the pressure off. If I do my very best (with His help) in my home, at work, at church, and with my family and friends then the rest is up to Him. I'm really learning to appreciate the story God's created for us. . . The Wolstenholms. For now I am a marketplace mommy and I am proud of what He's allowed me to be a part of through my work. I pray every day that I will have the strength to do what I've been given to do with excellence and a peaceful heart.

Simplicity Project #11

2009-06-28T14:07:00.007-06:00

I'm making it in by the skin of my teeth this month. Actually, Dave and I completed this project before our vacation. I just forgot to publish it!

This month we tackled our closet. We have this great, unique closet that as you can see by the pictures is sorta shaped like an L. Dave is blessed with the back of the closet where he can hoard piles of who knows what. To be honest, Dave is a very neat man. I never have to ask him to pick up after himself. Which is why I was surprised by the piles and piles of clothes in the back of the closet. When I asked him about them, he told me they were mostly for Good Will but that he had to go through them first. He pretty immediately (within days) began cleaning like a madman. So I of course, jumped on board. Within a few hours, we had a clean and tidy closet and we felt like we'd gotten a new one (complete with some new items we discovered).

Here is our closet before. . .
Dave's half. . .

My half. . .

And after. . .
Dave's half. . .

My half. . .

We got rid of a ton of items to give to Good Will and also some that I will sell next month at the Encores and More consignment sale. They take adult clothes as well. I continue to dream of one day having a custom closet with built in shelves and drawers. Maybe someday, but for now at least I can find that black purse I was looking for. . .or that skirt I forgot about! One of these months I am going to tackle my jewelry. You do not want to look inside that top dresser drawer!

Top 10 Reasons to Staycation

2009-06-22T21:29:00.004-06:00

{in this or any economy. . .}

As our vacation comes to a close, I write this post with great dread as I know it means I will be returning to work tomorrow. But alas. . .all good things must come to an end. Here are the top 10 reasons YOU should staycation this year, or any year for that matter. Although many of my top 10 reasons have to do with saving money, that is not really why we chose to do a staycation this year. Read the list and then you decide why you would staycation with your family.

10.Free, four-star accommodations. . .in my own bed. Does anyone like hotel pillows?
9. Coupons for local restaurants and attractions. Let's face it, local coupons are always better than tourist coupons. One entertainment book can cover your whole staycation and then some!
8. No maps or GPS needed. That in itself could save the vacation and your marriage.
7. People you like to hang out with. We spent several nights out or in with friends. It kept us from getting bored of each other.
6. Trusted babysitters or in our case, free babysitters. I always think I would never use a babysitting service while traveling. This way, we got to go on two dates in one week!
5. Trusted restaurants. Maybe it's just us. . .but we always pick the worst restaurants when traveling. How nice to know what you are getting and be able to splurge at a few of your local favorites.
4. No need to pack diapers, wipes, baby food, stroller, high chair, pack n play, toys, etc, etc, etc. Enough said.
3. No travel time. Eight hours in a car or airport/plane with a one year old is not my idea of a vacation.
2. Time to enjoy your home. As much as we are on the go all the time, there's never time to really enjoy the rooms we spent hours decorating.
1. No packing, no unpacking. It's like we never left. . .because we didn't.

Non-voyage!

Mommy . . . Unplugged!

2009-06-18T14:20:00.004-06:00

Well, I am almost, officially unplugged this week. I have checked email once a day just to keep it down to a minimum. There is nothing worse than ruining your vacation with 250 unread emails when you return to work. To me, it's worth it to take a glance at it during Hope's nap each day. I've addressed a few emails but for the most part, I've been able to remain in our own little world.

Tuesday we ventured out to the Zoo. We arrived right as it opened and were met with hundreds of other ambitious families who, I'm sure, were also trying to beat the heat. No chance! Less than two hours later we left tired and drenched from sweat - despite the ample amount of shade at the zoo. I guess that's what we get for taking our staycation in June!

This morning we took Hope out to breakfast at Cracker Barrel (a real taste of vacation life) and then to the pool in Dave's parents' neighborhood. This was only Hope's second time in the pool but this time she was ready to go. Her favorite thing was to put her face in the water and drink it. A few times she rushed towards the pool like she would jump right in without any hesitation. Man, am I exhausted after chasing her around!

Here are a few pics from our time so far. I am so glad we decided to do this! Although I told Dave, next time we'll do this in the cooler month of April!

Hope, gazing at the fishies. . .

Hope, playing with the goats. . .

Hope, having the time of her life in the toddler play gym at the zoo. . .

Hope, rocking at Cracker Barrel (she never looks at the camera!). . .

Hope, splashing in the pool. . .

Spa Bliss!

2009-06-15T20:10:00.000-06:00

This week we are on vacation. We decided to stay home and enjoy some time just relaxing and doing things around town. We figured it wouldn't be very relaxing to pack up everything, spend 8+ hours in the car and fight the sun and the sand with a one year old. So far it's been wonderful. Hope spent the entire day in her PJs, giving her a true taste of what it means to vacation at home and Mommy spent the afternoon at the spa!

I've visited the local spa several times to have a massage or a pedicure. But I've never done the whole package deal thing with multiple treatments and the robe and slippers and all. Wow! I feel like I've entered a whole new standard of living (one I am sure I will not uphold I am sorry to tell you). It was amazing! First I had a hydrotherapy soak complete with bubbles and jets and candles. Then it was off to the massage room where I was blessed with a 60 minute Swedish rub-down. And then lastly, I sat all hydrated and loose while a very sweet girl made my otherwise awful looking hands and feet look pretty. Three and a half hours later I headed home so relaxed and refreshed. And now I'm wondering why I don't do this at least once a year?!?! Mommy may need to put some dough aside every month for the "once a year spa day fund." I'm pretty sure that's just as important as the college fund!

When I got home, Hope immediately knew something was different. She looked at my finger nails all done up with paint. I don't ever paint my finger nails so she was a bit caught off guard. She started to pick at them, trying to remove the nail polish. I then showed her how they matched my toes. I always have my toes painted so I figured she'd understand the relationship. As she proceeded to try to remove the polish on my toes as well, of course I did what every good mommy would do. . .I jumped up and shouted "no, no". After all, I couldn't let her pick away my bliss!

So far the vacation has been wonderful. We hope to visit the Zoo (if the rain stays away) and Dave will get his day on the golf course later this week. Most of all, we are simply enjoying being home together for an extended period of time. Hope is doing and saying something new ever day. To us, that's so much more entertaining than sand castles and pool floaties. . .although I do look forward to those days which are soon to come.

What Does Mommy Do Anyway?

2009-06-04T18:56:00.003-06:00

Now that I've decided to embrace my life as a working mom and blog about it, I thought I'd start by sharing what I do with some of you that might not know exactly how I spend my Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays.

I am a manager in the entertainment industry. Which basically means I spend my Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays much like I spend the rest of my days. . .taking care of a child (or children as it were in my work situation). I manage a Christian band and a couple of author/speakers. I am responsible for the development of their careers including everything from the products they release to their websites to their performance schedules. It's probably one of the most fun yet most difficult jobs one could have. On the one hand, I get to be a part of making records and writing books. I get to be creative with marketing ideas and promotions. And most of all, I get to be a part of sharing the message of Jesus Christ with people all over the world. Who wouldn't want this job, right? But on the other hand, I am the one they call when the concert gets rained out. I am the one they call with 528 new ideas that have to be chased before week's end. I am the one responsible for "making it happen."

It's a heavy load to carry. I felt that heaviness last night as I laid in bed at 11pm trying desperately to fall asleep but instead fighting back tears as I created a never-ending to do list in my head. Book venue for that event. Create promo video for this one. Develop website for that guy. Send pitch emails for this one. And so on and so on.

So. . . that's what I do. I absolutely love my clients, my boss and my coworkers and that keeps me going. We're all painfully aware that it's too much so we keep each other going from day to day. I guess as long as I feel called to this task, all I have to do is my best and He'll take care of the rest. Boy that sounds cheesy, but it's true.

The New Blog

2009-05-29T20:37:00.003-06:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about changing my blog. I have been wanting to direct my writing towards topics I am currently experiencing. Besides the fact that someone informed me this week that there is an unwritten rule about how long URL's should be. Apparently www.ontheothersideofinfertility.com breaks the rule. I should have known that, after all, I work in marketing. How'd I miss that?

Although I will always write about infertility and I definitely believe the topic is worthy of discussion, I know it is only relevant to some that read my posts. You can be sure I will address it again, especially as we begin to look towards having another baby (stay tuned for that).

So I've thought and I've prayed about what to call the new blog. You all are very familiar with the ever-present battle that rages in my soul about being a mom who works outside the home 30+ hours a week. I figured as long as I feel the Lord has me in this season for a while longer, I might as well embrace it so I decided I would focus on writing about motherhood and marketplace ministry.

My pastor talks a lot about marketplace ministry. This is simply a phrase coined to describe people who work outside the church really. Those that work in the marketplace yet still desire to minister to people. When I think of this phrase, I always think of a man in a suit going off to work with his bible and briefcase in hand. I am not a man and I don't carry a briefcase but I am a marketplace minister. Actually, I am a Marketplace Mommy. . .one who works in the marketplace but still desires to be a mommy.

I don't think my posts will change much. It probably doesn't even matter that I changed the name of my blog. Really, it's just about the fact that I'd like to have one of those cute, little designs I see all over the blogosphere and I thought I should have a clever name to go with it. We'll see if I ever get to that.

So welcome to the home of Marketplace Mommy where I will continue to share thoughts and ponderings on what it's like to juggle sippy cups and conference calls. As always, I hope that to whatever extent you are a marketplace mommy (we all are in some respects) you will be encouraged by what you read here.

Simplicity Project #10

2009-05-22T17:28:00.000-06:00

This month I'm afraid that I have to reveal one of my dirty little secrets. Some of you that have been to my house might think I keep it neat and tidy (although who knows, perhaps you think I'm a slob). While it's true that I like to keep up appearances when it comes to neatness, I daily battle piles of clutter. Be it mail I think I'll need to reference one day or magazine tear sheets I aspire to mimic, there's always too much lying around. And thus the reason for my dirty little secret. I hope it doesn't affect our friendship or the way you view me as a person. I venture to guess at least half of you have a similar secret. . .

I have 4 junk drawers in my kitchen.

Gasp!

I know, I know. It's disgusting. Who needs 4 junk drawers? Apparently the Wolstenholms do.

So today I decided it was time to clean them out. Oh, I still have 4 junk drawers. They now just each have a purpose of their own.

Here they are before. . .

And after. . .

One for scissors, tape, etc. . .One for note pads and pens. . .One for my writing and correspondence supplies. . .and One for coupons.

I know what you are thinking. Why couldn't you use only 2 drawers for these items?Well I probably could but then they'd get all stuffed and junky. . .at least this way I have room to keep them organized. And besides, I have the 4 drawers, so why not use them?

I hope that even though I am not doing these projects as often as I was at the beginning of the year, you are still finding inspiration here to tackle the clutter in your home. I still feel like I'm buried under a pile of junk all the time, but we are getting there. One step at a time.

Hope Turns 1!

2009-05-16T19:58:00.001-06:00

Hope turned one on Thursday. I regret that I didn't get to do a post on that day but I was pretty busy getting ready for her party. Today we gathered with some of our family and friends to celebrate Hope's life. It was a perfect day, despite the storms outside. I think Hope had a blast! She scooted around all day long, running after the other kids and definitely enjoying all the attention.

Dave and I have reflected a lot over the past few days. It's so hard to believe it's been a year. Just a few minutes ago we laughed when trying to remember those first few nights at home with her. It's true that you do forget the hard stuff. I guess our brains block it out, trying to make room for all the good memories. As I do think back over the past year, I am flooded with gratitude of the goodness of the Lord and His provision in our lives. There were days years ago that I wondered if I'd ever have a child and here I am celebrating her birthday. So amazing!

Here are some pics from the day. It was simply priceless!

Mother's Day Thoughts

2009-05-11T18:38:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure exactly how long I've anticipated my first mother's day, but I think pretty long. For years I sat through church fighting back tears as my mothering friends stood to be recognized. When will it be my turn? I would think. Sure, last year I was acknowledged as a mom because my belly was the size of a watermelon, but still, I longed for the day I could really be celebrated on mother's day.

The day came and went. It was a nice day and it was fun to be with close family and friends. I didn't exactly feel the heaven's open and the angels sing my praises but everyone around me made me feel special. I suppose this was my first glimpse at the fact that mothers often go unsung. It doesn't matter how sweet the card is or how long the massage is (thank you Dave and Hope for the perfect first mother's day gift - I need it! ). . . nothing can ever be an even exchange for the heart and soul that goes into mothering. I actually feel kinda lame now for all those years I tried to do something special for my mom. It was never enough.

But all gifts aside, I can honestly say the only thing that makes mothering worth it are the ones you mother. Just seeing Hope walking around in the midst of everything yesterday made my heart sing. Seeing her struggle to walk across the bathroom floor with my card shortly after she woke up, drunk from sleepiness, makes it all worth it.

So I guess, if it's not about the gifts and accolades then every day is a celebration of motherhood. Because every day that I get to see Hope grow and learn something new is its own reward for all that I've poured into her. That's probably why my mom never scoffed at my silly, little gifts and homemade cards. She knew nothing could repay her for all she'd done for us. Seeing the fruit of her labor was enough.

Oh, I think I hear my little one crying. She's had a bit of a rough day today. Time to go rock her to sleep. I guess as long as I get to keep loving and caring for my sweet girl, every day is mother's day.

Hope Is Walking!

2009-05-07T09:08:00.001-06:00

I don't think I've ever been so proud in my life. Hope started walking about 4 weeks ago but I finally got it on video. Each day she takes more and more steps. She gets steadier and steadier every day and now I finally understand the concept of baby steps. One at a time. . . two at a time. . . until we can race across the kitchen floor in our socks without falling down.

I can't believe she is going to be 1 next week.

Man is having a baby a wonderful picture of life!

Enjoy!!

The Diary of a Working Mom

2009-04-30T15:12:00.000-06:00

It's been quite an interesting couple of weeks in regards to work. I continue to manage the inner battle of whether or not it is capable of doing this job and being a good mom. This time last week I was sure it was not. I was sure that I had heard clearly from God that it was time to move on.

I traveled last week - Nashville to Chicago to Grand Rapids to Chicago and back to Nashville. It was a crazy whirlwind with free time only to think about the baby girl I had left at home. I missed her terribly and I was bitter at the thought of missing even one moment of this crucial time in her development. Each day she takes more steps, says more words and has brand new facial expressions. Why should I miss that for a job? It just doesn't seem worth it.

While traveling home, where another crazy day of work related activities awaited me, I wrestled in my heart and mind with my current situation (as I often do) but this time I honestly felt a clear voice within me. It's time to start looking for your replacement - I heard. This job has become more than you are able to give in this season. I asked God for days if this was really Him. I've had similar responses so many times that came from my exhaustion and stress. I wanted to make sure this was really His leading. I felt that I needed to take a few important next steps. 1 - Tell Dave I think I'm supposed to quit my job. 2 - Go over the budget to make sure it was even possible. 3 - Explore a few possible contract work opportunities to make sure I could contribute something to the household finances.

Dave was supportive but not quick to help write my letter of resignation. The budget was tight. There would obviously be no new shoes in my near future. And the contract work was slim. So many companies cutting back . . . many of them doing without the extra help these days.

As I sat in the car pondering what on earth we would do to make things work, I checked the email on my phone as I often do in the car. My boss had sent me something unsolicited yet unbelievable. An email, titled "A reminder of how good you are at what you do." It said basically, "I know you still aren't sure if you can do this, but I want you to know I know you can. Know that I am praying for you as you try to create the right balance and I'm willing to look at creative ways we can do that." And then he went on to sing my praises . . . which I honestly don't think I deserve. How did he know? I hadn't yet shared my revelation with him. I had planned to do so this week.

In my meeting with him on Tuesday, I honestly shared that I had planned to come in and say we needed to look for my replacement. He wasn't surprised but looked a little relieved that I wasn't actually saying it. He proceeded to encourage me even more and then we talked about ways that we could alleviate some of the stresses and the things that invade my time at home. Things will not change overnight, but I am hopeful that they will.

I'm not sure why I thought I heard the Lord say something so clearly about a specific action I was to take, only to reveal later that I am to stay. I guess sometimes He has us walk through exercises to test our faithfulness and our willingness to walk carefully through His will. I am glad I explored the things I did, even if they did not lead to my resignation. At least now I know for sure that I have the full support of my amazing boss and an open door to discuss my situation with him honestly. I am humbled that I have such favor.

A good friend and mentor reminded me this morning over coffee that I have probably the best situation if I do have to work outside the home. My wonderful mom watches Hope while I am at the office, my amazing husband is so helpful treating every task as a team player and my in laws live within a mile of our house. The conversation reminded me that I need to focus on the grace that covers me rather than the occasional tough circumstances.

Don't get me wrong. I do not want to work this much outside my home for too much longer. But He obviously still has a plan for me in this position so for now, I'll do the best I can to serve those I work for while enjoying the benefits of bills that are paid and of course, new shoes every now and then!

Simplicity Project #9

2009-04-15T16:29:00.000-06:00

I really am trying to keep up with my blogging. But it just seems the busier I get at work, the busier I get at home. The older Hope gets, the more attention she requires. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around? Not with my little explorer. I'm in a constant state of lookout. Needless to say she can now say, NO. . . and shake her head. She sees mommy do it all day long!

This week I took on a project I've needed to do for a long time. It doesn't matter how much I want to keep my bathroom cabinets neat and tidy, with all that crap it takes to make me look half-way decent, I don't stand a chance of keeping it simple! But I managed to cut down on a little bit of clutter. What with Hope now exploring each and every door she can open, I had to make sure she wasn't met with a landslide of hair product!

Take a look at this mess before. . .

And after. . .

You should see the pile of stuff I trashed or found a new home for! I really purposed to throw out things I wasn't using. Take the bag of old Clinique makeup for instance. I used to work for Clinique about 10 years ago. . . so when I found a bag full of makeup I got for free as an employee, I figured it was OK to toss it out. If I haven't used that shade of lipstick in 10 years, it's likely not the right color for me!

This week I encourage you ladies to tackle your bathroom. Get rid of that suntan lotion from 5 years back. It's likely lost it's SPF power by now! This stuff has a shelf life people. Let's not put our bodies in danger because we can't bring ourselves to toss it!

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things. Part 2

2009-04-07T19:16:00.000-06:00

I can't believe I haven't posted anything in over two weeks. I'm sure the large mass of you that read my blog have been waiting on pins and needles for my next entry. Yeah right! I'm pretty certain you've gotten along just fine without me. But still, I apologize for letting things slip. It's just been that kind of season.

Hope is almost 11 months and I can hardly believe it. This season has been filled with sleepless nights (I guess those of us that get good newborn sleepers pay for it later) and running after a relentless pre-toddler. She is into everything! She cruises and climbs and is not really catching on to the word NO just yet. Well, I'm sure she's caught on, she just chooses to ignore it. I absolutely love this time with all the new things she's doing and saying, but I kinda hate it as well. I would probably call this the most wonderful and difficult season we've had with her thus far.

But, instead of lamenting about all my mommy woes I choose instead to share with you a few of my current favorite things. I did this back over the summer shortly after Hope was born. . .but those favorite things have long gone to the land of consignment sales or storage. Here's what I'm into right now:

Fisher Price Space Saver High Chair - This thing is amazing. It straps to your dining chair but reclines, has a full size tray and turns into a toddler booster seat. The best part of it is, it only costs $49! My great friend Kristy recommended it to me and I'm so glad I took her advice. I'm not sure why anyone would spend $100 or more on a full size, bulky high chair. You've gotta try it!

Puzzles, Puzzles and more Puzzles! - At first I thought Hope was a little too young for them. I thought I'd give it a try anyway. Of course she can't actually do the puzzles. . .she just walks around with the pieces in her hand. I'm not sure if all kids are like this but as long as Hope has a few little things to hold in her hands, she's good to go! Puzzle pieces are a hit!

Plastic Bibs - I think I was late to the plastic bib party because I spent lots of time (not to mention the Oxy Stain Spray) on trying to keep cloth bibs clean after being drenched in pureed carrots and sweet potatoes. It dawned on my one day that I should try using bibs of the plastic variety. Hello! These babies changed my life. Simply wipe down with soapy water after each feeding and voila! (I know most of you moms out there are laughing at me for not realizing this sooner. Whatever!)

Little People Toys - Please refer back to the Puzzle paragraph and apply the principle here. Little things to hold in the hand. . .and with faces! Enough said.

Curtains to Play Hide and Seek Behind - I have to admit I was reluctant to allow Hope to play with the curtains. . .but one, short session of her giggling like crazy as she hid behind one was enough to change my rock-hard mommy heart on the subject. Swing away dear Hope. Those giggles make my heart soar! (She also giggles like that when she races towards my MAC, but that's still off limits.)

Touch and Feel Books - I remember wondering a few months back why Hope wasn't into the touch and feel books. She just didn't get it. Then one day about a month or so ago, she began turning the pages and pointing her finger right at the textures on each page. Now she can sit for minutes (that's right, minutes . . . hey minutes are very valuable to a mom) and read them while feeling all the fun fabrics.

Well, I guess that's enough of a list for now. As we are heading quickly into the land of the 1+ year old, I would love any suggestions you all have about products or tips for this stage of life. I need all the help I can get! How exactly am I going to transition her off the bottle if she can't drink from a sippy cup?

I've got lots of work to do!

Simplicity Project #8

2009-03-23T18:48:00.000-06:00

This week I took on a project that doesn't necessarily mean simplicity but rather cleanliness.
The refrigerator.
You probably can't tell much in these pictures, but I did throw a lot away. How many bottles of salad dressing does one really need? This is one of those projects that I absolutely hate doing and rarely do. Tonight was trash night so I thought it would be the perfect time to throw food away.
The Fridge Before

The Fridge After

After spending the 10 minutes it took to tackle it, I've decided that I will do this once a month, on trash night!

Speaking of once a month . . . as you can probably tell by the fact that I am behind on my projects, finding the time to do a simplicity project once a week was probably a bit of a lofty goal for me. As I said in my post last week, the minute your attempt to simplify things makes your life harder, you've missed the point. Therefore, I am admitting my limitations and turning this little experiment into a monthly blog post. I hope you will still be encouraged by my projects even though they will be less frequent. Hey, maybe because I'm only doing it once a month I will have time to tackle the big things again. But I suppose I shouldn't go promising things . . . it always gets my in over my head.

Simple Thoughts, Round 3

2009-03-17T15:46:00.001-06:00

In the spirit of simplicity, I'll keep this short!

I'm behind. I fear I'm failing miserably at this little project I set out to do. . . and it's only March. But, alas, I am letting myself off the hook because the moment your attempt to simplify things makes life harder, you've totally missed the point.

So even though I owe you a project for last week I'm afraid to say that these really simple thoughts are all you are going to get because I spent the weekend playing nurse to a 10 month old including a short trip to the ER on Sunday morning. All is well now with our little Hope but it was a crazy couple of days.

Check back in a few days as I play catch up with a project for this week! You can bet your life it's going to be a small one! Hey, every little bit counts. That's what I'm trying to teach you people!

What People Think

2009-03-14T18:43:00.000-06:00

I'm one of those people who spends a lot of my thought life wondering what other people think about me or things related to me. I hate to admit that I struggle with this fear of man, but I do. I just had a conversation with a friend today that left me thinking, What do they think of me? (In regards to a specific situation). It plagued me most of the evening until I was rocking Hope to sleep and had time to think about it further. Hope has a stomach bug so she got the rock-treatment tonight!

As I sat there, overwhelmed by the events of this week and the fact that my little one is sick to the point that I may need to take her to the hospital tomorrow, I thought to myself I don't have time to care what people think of me! A righteous disgust for the schemes of the enemy rose up in me as I considered how much time I've lost to worrying about what people think. I am a pretty much full-time working mom who has to worry about my child, my husband, my clients, my family, my leadership at church and my friends. How the heck can I fit in time to ponder whether or not my clothes are cool enough or if what I said sounded stupid? I can't. . . and today I declare that I won't!

After thinking about it with this perspective, I am so embarrassed by how much my silly fear of man has robbed my thoughts. What an idiot I am to have allowed this to take over my mind. None of us has extra time on our hands that would warrant such an unproductive and even destructive use of it. I know this is something we all deal with to some extent and so tonight I felt compelled to admit the struggle and encourage each one of us to consider how we might overcome it. For me, I believe tonight's epiphany will help me take these thoughts captive. Now, anytime I encounter these plaguing thoughts, I will think about how busy I am with things that really do matter as a reminder of how little this does matter.

Our great God has created each one of us with such a unique make up as well as a very specific life story. How dare we waste time trying to figure out why we are the way we are or why our story reads differently than someone else's. Let us trust His design and instead spend our days focused on what He thinks of who we are and how our story will bring glory to Him.

Simplicity Project #7

2009-03-07T09:10:00.000-06:00

This week I tackled a very small but practical project. The "bottle station" in our kitchen. As I near the end of our season with bottles, I am not ashamed to tell you that I cannot wait until they are gone. No more nipples and other paraphernalia to scrub daily. Why in the heck each bottle has to have their own unique "flow system" complete with extra do dads to clean, I am unsure! I would take them out of the dish washer and just throw them on the counter. What a mess! This week I decided to tidy up and make a commitment to fill the bottles with water each time I take them out of the dishwasher, leaving them completely ready for formula that is room temperature. Just the way Hope likes it.
Before

After

I realize this is a very small and seemingly insignificant simplicity project. But you'd be surprised how much little things like this affect your state of mind. I would look over at all this junk and get stressed because I felt like it took so much energy to keep it organized. Then I just gave up and was left with this mess. It will take some level of commitment to keep it tidy, but it's definitely worth my peace of mind!

Simple Thoughts, Round 2

2009-03-02T19:13:00.000-06:00

This is an entry I owed you last week. Had every intention of posting it then but life got nutty. I know you understand. Some thoughts about living simply. . . and then I'll post a project later this week. Enjoy!

My boss sent me a video last week that was presented at a recent radio seminar here in Nashville. The video's intent, I believe was to show its viewers how other forms of media and networking may be taking its place. Sad news for radio peeps, I know. . .but even sadder news for the rest of us in how much media has overtaken our lives. I sat there with a splitting headache as I watched how many millions of people are on Facebook and how many billions of messages they are sending (many of which, I promise you come to my inbox each day). There were stats on ITunes, MySpace, Twitter and XMradio but I think the most mind-blowing nugget of info was this:

"One, daily issue of the New York Times contains more information that someone from the 18th century would have come across in their lifetime."

And to that I say. . .WTH? (That's "what the hell?" for those of you not fluent in text message talk.)

I'm one of those girls who's always thought she should have lived in the Victorian Era. After hearing this little tidbit, I'm now pretty sure that the Big Guy made a huge mistake plopping me in the 20th/21st centuries. I don't want all of this information coming at me. In fact, I don't care! I can barely remember to feed and change my child (not kidding, I forgot to feed her one afternoon last month, did I share that with you yet?). I'm sure it's possible that my little brain is smaller than some. . . even most. But who needs to know all this crap?

I've wrestled a lot with this over the past few days trying to find the balance between a desire for intelligence and progressive knowledge and simplicity and peace of mind. I've decided that for me personally - I don't have to be on twitter (so sorry to many of you who love it and love to keep in touch that way). I just can't handle knowing who's going to the bathroom and who's having coffee at the moment. No, for me. . .it's just TMI (That's "too much information" - come on people, keep up!)

In order to keep my simple mind in optimal working order, I'll need to keep the information to a healthy 21st century minimum. I really feel the need to police the amount of data that enters my brain. But that's just me. Each one of us has to create our own boundaries based on what we can handle or what we enjoy. Some of my friends love being on Facebook and Twitter all the time and they see it as a convenient and efficient way to keep in touch. That is wonderful. And I guess that's the interesting thing about progression and technology. It can be a blessing and a curse - depending on who you are talking to and how well it is working for them.

So today I encourage us all to take a moment to stop and think about the information we allow to come across our brain everyday. Is it enhancing our lives or causing more stress? Is it edifying and uplifting? Is it contributing to our personal and spiritual growth? Is it taking away from real, face to face relationships? See I'm an old fashioned girl. I'd take a thoughtful, hand-written note over someone "writing on my wall" any day! Perhaps that makes me out of touch, but I'd like to think it makes me classy.

Lol. (Uh, that's "laugh out loud" - geez, even I know that!)

Simplicity Project #6

2009-02-19T17:06:00.000-06:00

This week's featured project made me feel like I was on one of those HGTV design shows (which, by the way I'm obsessed with). Take a look at our extreme makeover, office edition. These pictures do not even do it justice. After completing this project, I felt like I was in a whole new place. It was calm and organized and now I can be so much more productive! Atmosphere is everything when it comes to productivity. At least it is in my world.

Isn't it pretty?

Before

After

Hope Crawls!

2009-02-16T16:52:00.000-06:00

Well, this actually happened over a week ago . . . but better late then never in sharing it, right? I'm a little behind in downloading my photos and video. Hey, I could be that mom that leaves it on the camera for over a year (so sorry, if you actually are that mom).

She's all over the place at this point. The next trick we'll be sharing is Hope pulling herself up on the furniture. She's standing now with support. It's a little scary.

Enjoy!

Remembering Infertility

2009-02-16T08:48:00.000-06:00

The past few months, I've been feeling badly that I haven't addressed this topic lately in my blog posts. I know a few of you that read this regularly are still believing for your miracle. It's easy to reach the other side of something and forget how you got there. But the reality is there are still thousands of women fighting for their family so I feel compelled to continue writing as the Lord would lead me to encourage those women.

Sometimes I sit and think back to the time when Dave and I were walking through our journey. Those were some of the darkest and yet most precious times of my life. I may have mentioned this in a post shortly after Hope was born - that I missed the sweetness of my sorrow. When you sit in the reality of your sorrow with Jesus, there is a certain sweetness that comes with His comfort and His love that is very different than your ordinary, everyday communion with Him. I would like so much to remove the waiting and the suffering from you precious women that I know are walking this road. I would like to help remove the God-given blinders that do not allow you to see the path in front of you. But then I would be robbing you of this sweetness I am talking about that comes with your pain.

I encourage you today . . . if you are still believing the Lord to bring life into your family (no matter how He intends to bring it), press into Him as you wait, more than you ever have before. He will cover you with His sweet comfort and His overwhelming love.

Keep hoping in Him. He's not finished with your story yet!

Simplicity Project #5

2009-02-10T16:24:00.000-06:00

Well I'm just going to go ahead and admit it. I completed this project several weeks ago right after the holidays. We were up to our ears in boxes and stuff in the garage after Christmas. I had to get it done. So I captured it on film so I could share it with you at the appropriate time. Seeing as how Hope's sick with her first cold (so sad!), I thought now was the perfect time to pull this project out of my back pocket.

The Garage Before (there was already room for my car on the left of course). . .

And The Garage After (now with room for Dave's car). . .

We got rid of that pile of broken down boxes the next day in the trash. Now we can both park in there. Woo hoo!

I hope you all are attacking your home projects. I'm spending this week preparing all of my items for the consignment sale. It's time consuming but I'm hoping to make a few hundred bucks. Nothing like cleaning and making se dough while you are at it.

If you think about it, please pray for Hope. She's pretty miserable this week. Although I have to say, even though she is stuffed up, she can't stop smiling and playing! That's my girl!

Simple Thoughts, Round 1

2009-02-03T17:10:00.000-06:00

Well, I said it would happen and alas. . .it has. No time to think about a project this week. I do have one or two up my sleeve that I completed a few weeks back, but I'll save those for another day. Today I feel compelled to write something about simplicity.

This week I read a verse in Proverbs that, since my discovery of it, has provided me a mixture of motivation and fear. I'll let you read it now to decide how it makes you feel.

"A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest - and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man." Proverbs 6: 10-11

So, how do you feel? You still with me? I know. It's a bit intimidating, isn't it? At first I allowed it to be a kick in the pants for me to get off my arse and do something. I would tell myself Jess, don't be lazy. Don't be passive. Go after this stuff. Just get it done! But now, as I really consider what simplicity means for our family and our home, I have been encouraged to find a good balance between going after things and knowing when to let things go for the sake of sanity and some much needed rest.

So this week I challenge all of us to find that balance. For me it means that I am going to skip a meeting at church tonight in order to go home and get some laundry done for my family. It's just what I feel needs to be done - today. Tomorrow might look different. I might let the laundry go in order to spend time with a friend, or with Hope. Day by day, we will have the grace and wisdom we need to make the most of every moment . . . so that we can simply enjoy all of the things God has blessed us with.

Simplicity Project #4

2009-01-26T10:57:00.000-06:00

Before I get going about my project, I just have to share this really sweet pic of Hope. I think she may grow up to be a writer. What do you think? So introspective!

This week I chose a very simple project to complete. Work has been a little overwhelming so I'm actually pretty proud that I even found the time to do this one, little thing to create space in my world. Not sure the "platter cabinet" is going to cause any earth-shattering effects either way, but I'm glad to have it done nonetheless. Not too much of a difference but definitely got rid of some items I haven't been using.
Before

After

I am feeling more and more, the need to create space in my life. As certain things seem to be closing in on me, I find refuge in areas I can control such as my atmosphere. It really does help bring peace in the midst of the storm. I hope you all are getting inspired by these posts. Please feel free to share about projects you are tackling in your home!

Simplicity Project #3

2009-01-19T20:49:00.000-06:00

This week I share with you a project I usually tackle once a year. Although this year, with my new found disgust of clutter and excess I had the wisdom to go a few steps further.

Pictures!

Now I've always been over the top when it came to these paper memories but ever since the introduction of digital photography, I've gotten worse. It was one thing to take 6 rolls of 35mm film of our honeymoon but now . . . 6 years later . . . think of the thousands of photos we have of our family in just 8 months! And I'm not one of those people who takes the pictures and leaves them on the camera or even on the computer for that matter. No, I'm a frequent shopper at Shutterfly.com so the paper memories are piling up!

This year, I went completely crazy and got rid of hundreds of pictures. High school, college, people I haven't seen in years, whose names I can't even remember. Trash! All trash!

I keep my photos in a dresser in our sitting room. The dresser is a quirky antique with somewhat open drawers. So you can see if there is a lot of clutter in them. My goal with this project was to straighten the drawers and create more space for the thousands of photos I will be adding in the next few years.

Before

After (See the extra room? And what you can't see is that one of those photo boxes is actually empty!)

And the hundreds of photos I threw away! Good-bye boy I dated in 10th grade . . . I don't even remember your name!

This project was especially space-making because I said good-bye to many memories, leaving room in not only my drawer but also my heart for many more, even greater memories with my family.

Separation Anxiety

2009-01-16T10:04:00.000-06:00

Every book, website, email blast or piece of mommy mail I read says we may be experiencing separation anxiety at this point. It makes total sense - heightened awareness, increased understanding, a deeper level of bonding. . . But the funny thing is, every time I leave Hope at my mom's house she is either eating or if I stay long enough for a cup of coffee, playing in her exersaucer and she never seems affected by my goodbye kisses and waves as I walk out the door. Don't get me wrong, I am so thankful that she is happy and thriving with my mom (I had no doubt she would be).

This week, every time I dropped her off and headed to work I was in the worst mood. I thought maybe I was just tired or cranky because work has been ramping up but then as I walked out my mom's door yesterday morning it hit me. . . separation anxiety. The books and websites don't talk about my separation anxiety. The mommy mail doesn't address how I'll feel when I leave my little one. I think the two weeks plus I spent with Hope over the holidays ruined me for my time away from her. While I still enjoy going to work and having adult interaction and independence, my deeper connection with Hope as she grows is causing the stakes to be higher. If I am going to leave her, if I am going to miss out on even one day, it's got to be worth it.

Which leads me to the ponderings that have plagued my mind this week. Am I that passionate about my work that it is worth time away from my girl? Some days I feel like I am. Although it's not that I've ever felt a really deep passion about what I do per say, but rather a deep passion for the One I do it for. In my line of work, you spend your days navigating through artistic personalities and temperaments, insecurities and lofty ideas. It's enough to make you exhausted, if not downright sick. So although I love my clients and I am committed to serve them well, I don't do it for them. If I did, I would have given up years ago. I serve them in order to serve God and serve the people they reach with their art. I have to remind myself of this fact every now and then. . . on occasions like this that cause me to re-evaluate everything.

Today I feel called to do this work. I feel His grace over me which allows me to leave goodbye kisses and waves as I walk out the door and leave my child in the hands of another (thank you God it's my mother). But I can promise Hope this. . . not a day will go by without me pausing to ask the Lord if His grace still covers this. God give me the wisdom to know the answer.

Simplicity Project #2

2009-01-12T20:25:00.000-06:00

Here we go again. This week I tackled Hope's closet. It's amazing how much stuff an 8 month old can accumulate! We were blessed with so many things . . . mostly adorable outfits that she wore once. People just can't help themselves from buying baby girl outfits, mommy included! I think one of the main things that compelled me to do this project was the overwhelmingness of Hope's closet. While I have been so thankful for the overabundance of clothing (what woman wouldn't be happy with choice when it comes to clothing?) I have felt guilty, almost ashamed if she didn't wear it all. And so I have felt the need to downsize.

Hope's Closet Before

Hope's Closet After

And then the really huge pile of stuff I will be consigning or giving to Good Will

Now this display does not take into account the new clothes my mom brought back to me from the many, generous family members in Florida that yup, you guessed it, just couldn't help themselves and bought Hope not one, but many new outfits for the spring and summer. Good thing I took this shot before I crammed all those in there! No seriously, I am thankful. She will need to be clothed this summer.

Let's just say with 50 more Simplicity Projects to go this year, you just might see Hope's closet show up one or two more times!

I am so thankful that the Lord has given me vision to do this for our home. Even with traveling twice for work last week, I still feel an amazing measure of grace and space for Him to work and to speak. I know it is in part because I am being obedient to this task. Cleaning house feels great!

Upromise

2009-01-09T10:38:00.000-06:00

I'm sure many of you have seen this program at your local Publix supermarket. They do a great job promoting it. I grabbed a flyer one day months ago and put off joining until late in November. Man, am I glad I joined before the Christmas Shopping season!

If you are not familiar with the program, visit www.upromise.com as soon as you finish reading this post.

Upromise is a program developed to help you save for college through your normal everyday spending. You can register your Kroger Plus Card, Publix Card (they have one specifically for Upromise), your Harris Teeter card, etc, etc. Then you can register your Debit Card and any time you use that card to eat out at participating restaurants, a small % of what you spend will be deposited in your Upromise account as savings for college. BUT, the most productive way to save is by shopping online through the Upromise site. It links to Macys.com, Kohls.com, Shutterfly, SnapFish, Vista Print (just to name a few) and any time you shop on those sites, a % of what you spend is deposited into your Upromise account for college savings.

As of today, Dave and I have saved over $20 for Hope's college fund! We can link our account to her 529 Savings Plan so the money is invested as well. The most amazing thing about the program is you are saving without even thinking about it! You can ask your family to link to your account so every time grandma and grandpa spend money, they can save for college as well!

The program is free and although $20 in one month doesn't seem like much, over 18 years it will add up. The thought of paying for college in 18 years is so overwhelming. At least this little effort takes some of the pressure off.

I hope it works well for all you mommies out there! Now you have a very noble excuse to purchase things online!

Happy Shopping. . .I mean, College Saving!

Simplicity Project #1

2009-01-05T17:39:00.000-06:00

Happy New Year everyone! I pray you all had a wonderful holiday and that 2009 is off to a good start. It is for us. We got so much done over the holiday. I'm dreading the return to work tomorrow a little bit but that's life isn't it?

So here we go. Our first Simplicity Project for the year. I had planned to start small but since the Christmas decorations had to be taken down and put away, there was no better place to start than with our storage unit full of stuff. Now let me give a small disclaimer . . . this picture does not include the mounds of boxes and stuff that was temporarily located on my bedroom floor when I captured this shot. So much of the decor was dumped there as we began gathering it to put it up. So although the "before" picture looks bad, it was really a lot worse!

What do you think? Are we organized or what? What you also cannot see is the box of Christmas decorations that we are giving to Good Will. Woo hoo! Let the purging begin! I feel like I have so much "space" in my life already.

BEFORE

AFTER

A Move Towards Simplicity

2008-12-30T09:07:00.000-06:00

I just love the way the Lord confirms the stirrings He's put in our hearts. After my post "Simplicity or Sephora" a few weeks ago, I felt very compelled to do something specific regarding fostering simple living in our lives. I've had an extreme burden and desire to get rid of the clutter and excess to make room for new things the Lord might want to bring us. But let me be clear - I'm not talking about material things. The Lord has blessed us with so much and that abundance (mixed with a bit of stuff we've accumulated on our own) is just too much to manage. It takes time and energy and mind space. I feel He wants to bring us divine appointments and knowledge and we must create physical and spiritual "space" in our lives for those things. So I'm starting to clean house. More literally in the physical sense but also in the spiritual sense as well.

I've kept these things in my heart for the past month. Besides what I shared in that post, I've not really spoken to anyone about it. Not even my husband (and let's be honest, he doesn't really keep up with my blog). So you can imagine my surprise when he shared with me on Christmas that he felt the Lord saying we needed to be more "efficient and effective" in 2009 (thank you PD for our tendency towards alliteration!). I was so excited to know that God was impressing the same things upon his heart. I walked away from that conversation feeling like I really needed to do something drastic in order to keep myself accountable to this task. I have to admit, I felt (and still do feel) nervous about committing to anything specific but I believe it's time for me and for our household to get serious.

And then lastly, our pastor shared this past Sunday that he wanted to encourage us to "live lean" (there's that alliteration again) in 2009! Wow, what confirmation! I knew then that a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!

So here I go . . . today I introduce to you "Project Simplicity 2009." Each week I plan to share one before and after project from our home where I get rid of clutter and excess. I plan to start small and work my way up to the big things. I will likely give items to Good Will or someone in our lives that could use some extra dishes or baby clothes. Hey, I might even get brave and try one of those crazy, mommy consignment sales and make a few bucks to contribute towards our family vacation. I'm not quite sure what it will look like exactly but the idea is to take baby steps towards a lean, efficient and simple life. I'm going to go ahead right now and say it might be hard to come up with 52 projects so I'm going to let myself off the hook right now and say perhaps it won't be every week, but I'm committed to giving it a try. And I will at least address the issue once a week even if I don't have a project to share.

My hope is that this will create a new way of living in our lives and perhaps encourage you in this way as well. We all really do have so much more then we need. What would our lives look like if we got rid of all the stuff and focused on what really matters? I'm hoping to find out!

Baby's First Christmas!

2008-12-27T14:56:00.000-06:00

I pray you all had a wonderful and peaceful holiday. I cannot begin to tell you how much fun we had with Hope. If you have children or nieces or nephews or grandchildren, I'm sure you understand. I think she knew it was Christmas and that it meant family and presents and fun because she was in the best mood ever! Constantly laughing and playing. What a joy! Here are a few pics of our fun!

Prayer for Josiah

2008-12-23T12:17:00.000-06:00

It is with great burden that I write this post. I should have written it a week or so ago but life got ahead of me. I'm embarrassed to say I couldn't find five minutes to ask for prayer for our friends who are hurting right now. Better late than never. The prayers are still needed.

Our friends and church family members Kara and Tony Zapata have just returned from North Carolina where they were with their little boy Josiah (2 1/2) and two other children. Kara went to NC to visit family and while there took Josiah into the emergency room. They were met with the horrible news that Josiah had a tumor on both lungs and one of his kidneys. He has been diagnosed with stage 4 Wilms' Tumor (tumors on his left kidney, on both lungs & his renal artery). The family returned home this weekend and Josiah will begin chemotherapy at Vandy this week. The doctors were pleased that the diagnosis was clear but there is still a long road to travel for sweet, little Josiah and his family.

Please pray that he would respond well to the chemo and receive complete and total healing. Please pray for strength for his small body and for his parents' hearts. I cannot even imagine the level of emotion they are experiencing right now yet they both seem so full of faith. What a testimony to what life can be like with the Lord . . . even in the really tough times.

I am believing that Josiah will be healed and that the Lord will receive amazing glory through this trial . . . both through the healing of his body and through the testimony of his parents' faith. They have already been such an example to me.

New Etsy Store

2008-12-16T09:41:00.000-06:00

I wanted to let you all know about a new Esty store launched by my very talented friend and coworker, Jenny Stika. You can find her creations at http://justadreamart.etsy.com. I myself have many of Jenny's pieces in my collection including a beautiful, cuddly scarf, an oil painting and a chalk drawing of Hope (below). She is incredibly talented and I hope you can find some great, unique gifts for everyone on your list this year! She'll be adding more items in the coming weeks so check back for photographs and paintings!!

Happy Shopping!

Hope's First Snow!

2008-12-12T10:40:00.000-06:00

So now I have something new to add to my list of things that make me full of joy and wonder during the holidays . . . a baby in the snow! Isn't she cute!!

Twinkle Lights and Tinkering Songs

2008-12-11T15:05:00.000-06:00

I absolutely love the Christmas season. While I'm sure each of us has their own holiday preferences, mine consist mainly of twinkle lights and tinkering songs. I know what you are thinking. No, I'm not sure tinkering is a word, but it's the only "word" I can think of so hang with me. It will all make sense in a moment. . .

I was driving home from work last night, listening to the new lullaby Christmas album I picked up last week and being dangerously distracted by the large array of twinkle lights that adorn many of the houses along my route. There is just something lighthearted and magical about twinkle lights. I prefer the white ones, the icicle kind. They are like little drops of whimsy falling from the sky. So fun! And if the twinkle lights weren't enough to make this girl's heart leap with joy this season, I found a sweet, tinkering (there's that word again) Christmas lullaby record at Babies R Us the other day. My mom and I were shopping with Hope when the most adorable Christmas music started playing. All of your favorite Christmas songs on the xylophone or some cute, little instrument I can't spell.

You have to understand, I have really been into the xylophone and the glockenspiel since Hope was born. It all started when Dave found the Rockabye Baby Collection. When we brought Hope home from the hospital, we played the Coldplay version in the car and now I will forever have those little tinkering melodies in my heart and mind. So thus began my love affair with quirky German instruments.

But back to Christmas. . .I can't tell you how thrilled I was to find this CD. The songs are so simple and sweet. They really set the mood I am after during the holidays. Joy and wonder. And I suppose that's why I like the twinkle lights as well. Joy and wonder. That's not to say there isn't a place for the seriousness and mystery that say, Trans-Siberian Orchestra might bring to the table. There's definitely room for that and I've venture to guess my husband would take full-on Christmas rock and roll over my lullabies.

But as long as I'm in charge of the Christmas spirit in our house (I'll never officially be in charge of the music, but I can definitely influence), there will always be white twinkle lights and tinkering songs. The lightness and brightness of these things remind me of the joy we have in knowing Christ and the wonder we can experience through our relationship with Him. That's what I'm after this this season. What about you?

P.S. I've been trying to locate this CD online to post a link, but I'm not having any luck. As an alternative, I'd recommend Sufjan Stevens: Songs for Christmas if you are interested in tinkering songs. Not quite lullabies, but sweet and quirky for sure!

Simplicity or Sephora?

2008-12-04T09:54:00.000-06:00

The other day I was in Sephora with a few girlfriends. As I was browsing through the sea of cosmetics, I quickly found myself overwhelmed and maybe even a little annoyed at the choices laid out in front of me. I went in to purchase an inexpensive yet very effective eyeliner but was bombarded by 58 other eyeliner options carrying empty promises for brighter eyes and much higher price tags.

And then for some reason my mind wandered to thoughts of Little House on the Prairie. Bear with me here, this is not quite as random as one might think. I was watching Little House for a few minutes the other day while home with my mom and Hope. We love Little House. It is wholesome and reminds us of when I was young. I kinda looked like Laura Ingles when I was little. But I digress. . .So I was walking through Sephora thinking about Little House and how times were much simpler then. Laura Ingles wasn't plagued with the pressure of making a decision between liquid or mineral makeup. No, Laura had much more important things to worry about like stuffing her dress with apples to make her bosoms look bigger. Ah, classic. I'll never forget the sight of those apples falling to the floor and rolling down the school room isle.

I've been thinking a lot lately about the simple life. Perhaps it's due to constant news headlines about our current economic state. Or perhaps it's because adding a baby and all that comes with it into your life and your home makes you want to throw everything away and live with one set of dishes and one set of sheets and one small set of clothes. Whatever the reason, I also know that the gloom and doom news reports are also making me a bit disgusted at our culture here in the USA. I realize that this economic downturn is not something to take lightly. Considering the tens of thousands of people who have lost their jobs, I take it very seriously and I pray that the Lord would provide abundantly for them. But then there are those of us who are simply living in fear because things don't look like they did 12 months ago. We can't own a big SUV anymore because gas got too high. We can't get a boob job because we didn't get that quarterly bonus (I've got three words for you . . . Laura Ingles' apples!) We can't shop at the high end supermarket for all organic food because it's just too expensive and we should save our pennies for when this thing really goes south. Blah, blah, blah. Maybe we weren't supposed to have those big, fat SUV's in the first place. Maybe we're not supposed to have 37 different mascara's to choose from. But this is the culture that the world has created. We've done this to ourselves and now I feel we need to take inventory and really prioritize in our lives.

I believe we've become so used to having stuff at our disposal that we are mistaking an opportunity to simplify as an economic downturn. We are more taken care of and richly blessed than any nation in the entire world. Yet we freak out when life happens and forces us to re-evaluate our spending and our priorities. We are now so used to choices we've let them dilute our convictions and our focus.

So I'm taking this downturn as an opportunity to take a look at my own life. Will I choose simplicity or Sephora? I know it will not be easy but I choose simplicity. Sure, there will need to be a huge paradigm shift in my thinking, but in the end I know the diligence of living with less will prepare me and my family for all that God has for us. As Christians we tend to think abundance refers to stuff. Although the Word promises us abundance, it also addresses where we need to store up our treasures. . .and it's not here on earth people!

Will you join with me in evaluating your own life? I'm not suggesting that anyone give up the things they enjoy or the blessings of their lives. No, I still plan to shop at Sephora . . . just with a different point of view. I will not be sucked in by all the choices, believing I should spend my money and try something new just because it's there. I will shop with greater restraint and discernment, obtaining only what I truly need . . . because I believe that when we can learn to live with less, we will end up having so much more.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

2008-11-27T10:36:00.000-06:00

I just put Hope down for a nap. She was a bit resistant this morning. Perhaps it's because she fell back asleep after waking at 6am and slept until 7:45! Happy Thanksgiving to mommy and daddy, we got to sleep in!

As I was rocking her in my arms (something I don't normally do however NOT getting a good nap is NOT an option this morning as the holiday festivities await us) I was getting a little frustrated with her inability to settle down. For a minute, I thought it could be a wonderful Thanksgiving moment where I rocked her and she drifted off to sleep while I pondered how thankful we are for our little miracle. The moment quickly fizzled as she squirmed and I worked hard to contain my frustration.

I went ahead and put her down in the bed even though she was still a bit wound up. She fussed for a minute or two as I headed back downstairs. I joined Dave on the living room floor, who was combing through the Thanksgiving paper trying to determine if there were any deals worth getting up for at the crack of dawn. I assure you, there are not any deals worth losing sleep over. But I'll save that for another post. Maybe tomorrow I'll address the craziness of Black Friday.

Five minutes later, I realized that Hope had drifted off. So first, I will testify that I am thankful for good naps! They are hit or miss in our house, but I'll take them when I can get them.

I realized this morning that although sweet moments are a wonderful setting for thankfulness to pour out of our hearts, we should not need them in order to see God's goodness in our lives. Dave and I have so much to be thankful for and no matter what is going on around me, I choose to focus on them today. . .this week. . .this holiday season.

We are thankful for each other (at least I can speak for myself), for our sweet, perfect little girl, for our health and God's provision in our lives, for our families - many of whom live so close (praise God!) and for so many amazing friends. The list could go on and on.

So here I sit amidst a sea of papers filled with promises of deals and stuff that will make me happy despite my having to get up at 3am to obtain them. And I could care less about any of it. I have everything I need right here with me and for that I am so thankful!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Corporate Mommy

2008-11-13T20:08:00.000-06:00

Tonight is my first night away from Hope. I'm sitting in a hotel room typing this entry right about the time I would be home kissing her goodnight. I'm in Grand Rapids and she's at home and I'm doing surprisingly well with the whole thing. I'm sure that is because I will be home in less than 24 hours. Thank God the first trip was a short one.

It's funny because the whole "corporate mommy" thing was never a role I wanted to have. I suppose I thought I'd become a mom and then my career would slowly fizzle. I actually looked forward to that. Yet it seems the longer I wear the badge, the more permanent it seems to become. Right now I feel completely caught in the middle of career momentum and a desire to abandon it all. My bosses seem to think I can do anything (I am humbled by that fact) and keep tossing out options for new ventures and roles I could take on. All the while I keep thinking, I think I want off this crazy train. Shouldn't I want off this crazy train?

The truth is . . . some days I want off and some days I don't. Although I have some horribly stressful days filled with corporate politics and client drama, for the most part my job is enjoyable and I can see how the Lord is using it to prepare me for what's next. Yet the more ideas my bosses come up with, the harder it is to balance work and home life. I think I can be a great literary agent and an OK wife and mother and friend. Or I could be an OK literary agent and a great wife and mother and friend. I'm just not sure it's possible to be a great literary agent, a great wife, a great mother and a great friend. I realize I don't need to be perfect at everything but I'm one of those people who tends to believe if you can't be excellent at it, then why do it?

I don't feel like this is a season of great stress or deep confusion. I am simply keeping a spirit of evaluation as I journey through "corporate mommyhood." I pray He'll honor the fact that I am willing to give it all up at a second's notice if it overshadows my most important roles in life. Yet I am willing to give and to serve and to lean on Him for the strength to do so as long as He has me doing so.

Lord show me when it's time to get off this crazy train. And until then, I know your grace abounds.

FightFoca.com

2008-11-11T13:22:00.000-06:00

This month we are all knee-deep in politics. Election. Election results. Victory speeches. Party agendas. The White House transition. It's enough to make you sick. I sat in bed the night of President elect Obama's victory speech and I wanted to throw up. I assure you this is not my attempt to raise my voice against our new Commander in Chief. I think I would be feeling the same way if McCain had given that speech. It struck me as pathetic that after all the mud slinging and dirt digging that both of these men stood on the podium that night praising one another. What a load of shit (sorry mom, there's no other word to describe it).

After I put my personal response to their meaningless speeches aside, I decided that the God I serve is sovereign and I believe He places people in leadership. So although I do not understand His method, I trust His heart. My pastor shared on Sunday that we need to respect the fact that Obama is our new president and pray hard for him to have the wisdom he needs to lead this country. He even pointed out that while Obama might be considered "inexperienced" for the task, he didn't know one person whose resume would qualify them to be the leader of the free world. I agree wholeheartedly with these thoughts and I am asking the Lord to give me peace in my heart and a sharp mind that remembers daily to lift up this country and its new leader.

With that said, there is just one issue I cannot settle in my heart. A few weeks ago you might have heard me saying that I'm not a one issue voter, that I wouldn't vote on the issues but rather character because I don't believe the issues can be fought through political means. While my boss touted his strong views on abortion and it being the only thing that matters in selecting the next president, I stood my ground believing it didn't matter what the president thought because he couldn't change someone's heart on the issue. "Abortion is a heart issue", I would say. "Even if abortion is illegal, women will still find a way to do it if they wanted. We have to change their hearts, not the law."

Today I received an email about the Freedom of Choice Act. The email led me to a website http://www.fightfoca.com/ where I could sign a petition against this legislation that Obama is promising to pass. While visiting the site to sign the petition I watched a video of Obama and his promise to make the passing of this act "the first thing he does as President." Now, I work in the entertainment industry so I am well aware of the miracle of video editing and how it can make something sound. So I'm not completely naive to think that Obama meant his little Planned Parenthood speech the way it came across. Yet although I watched with mixed feelings of cynacism and sadness, I was mostly grieved by the fact that such a law has even a fighting chance of becoming a reality. The video showed a young woman asking about a woman's rights and how he would secure those rights. This of course is when he raised his voice in true democratic fashion declaring that he would pass this act as President. All I could think was, What's with this woman? She planning to get knocked up? Why is it so important to HER to be able to terminate a pregnancy? It just struck me as odd that the right to choose would mean so much to a woman who would likely not ever need to choose.

So I have to ask the question - do any of us really know what we are fighting for? I think we get so caught up in the fight that many times we forget what we are fighting for. These women who fight for their right to choose simply want the
freedom to "fix" their mistakes or save themselves if ever faced with the choice of their life or their unborn child's. I realize there are cases where abortion could mean saving a mother's life but I know those cases are so rare and thus do not believe they deem this legislation across the board. I suppose being someone of faith it's easy for me to say He is sovereign and we shouldn't mess with His plan no matter how horrible it may seem. Still, I know what I am fighting for. To me, it's not about the circumstances surrounding the situation. Mistake or not. Rape or not. Risk or not. You either believe it's a life or you don't. Period. And the hard truth is, it is a life and we must behave accordingly.

I think I was very wrong about voting on the issues. I actually did end up voting in favor of the right to life but that was not my reasoning behind it. I voted on character and my gut feeling yet I didn't win. He didn't win. But although I am grieved by what could be a horrible reality for millions of innocent babies, I know He is still on the throne and nothing comes as a surprise to Him. Still, I am now compelled to make this issue an even greater matter of prayer. If we are going to fight, then our best strategy is to fight in intercession for our leaders to have wisdom and revelation of the truth.

Proverbs 31

2008-10-31T09:05:00.000-06:00

I have been compelled lately to study this passage - Proverbs 31 - with great depth. Perhaps it is because I am working so hard right now to balance my role as a wife and mother and employee. I have felt such a great weight in the past few weeks in trying to do all things well. I'm afraid I fail miserably every day.

As I read through this passage today - one I've read probably a hundred times, I thought, What Ev! Who on earth can live up to this? I was immediately discouraged, yet the desire to be this woman became greater and greater in my heart.

I circled and underlined several words and phrases. And although I don't want this to become a list that I must live up to, I do want to note them here as a reminder to us all that we are called to these things. I'm sure many of you feel the same overwhelming weight when you look at this list. I know I am not alone. But I don't want my fear of these things to deter me from aspiring to them. Here are some of the characteristics of a Proverbs 31 woman:

She is:
capable
trustworthy
enriching
helpful
busy
a planner
inspecting
earning
a planter
energetic
strong
a hard worker
watching for bargains (ok, I have achieved this one! : )
extending a helping hand
opening her arms to the needy
not walking in fear
dignified
laughing with no fear of the future
kind
careful
watchful
blessed by her children
praised by her husband
rewarded

Wow! What a woman. I want to be her so badly.

And on that note, I'd better go tend to the laundry. At least now I have a holy motivation when I put my hand to things.

Something Beautiful

2008-10-28T13:36:00.000-06:00

There are so many things I've considered blogging about in the past few days. Politics, the current (somewhat sad) state of The Church, The Shack (no, I haven't finished it yet, get off my back!), the American economy. . . many interesting topics have crossed my mind. Perhaps it's because I'm in a bit of a crazy season right now, but I just couldn't muster up the energy to address any of the above. So today, I choose to write about current events as it relates to the Wolstenholm household.

Yesterday, Dave and I celebrated 6 years of marriage. We didn't do anything all that special. Just a quiet night out, shopping and eating without the little one. Please remind me to never again choose shopping for my anniversary date. Upon arrival at the mall, Dave said something like, "You going in Banana Republic? OK, I'll be somewhere else. Just call my cell when you are done." Incredibly romantic! We did end up later having a nice dinner and shopping together at Barnes and Noble. Ah, books. The thing that can bring any couple together!

Anyway, I digress. . . so back to our marriage. I think this year was especially reflective because all day I kept looking at Hope thinking, this life is a product of our marriage. This is what we have to celebrate this year.

Now I hope in years to come, our anniversary will be a time to celebrate me and Dave. . . that it won't have to be about our children. But this year, it seemed appropriate to dwell on the fact that Hope is a product of two people partnering together, enduring hardship and overcoming adversity in order to bring glory to the Father through something beautiful and living. It nearly took my breath away to think about our marriage in that regard. Even as I write this, I am gaining an even deeper understanding of this revelation and now my prayer is that He'll give us the grace to apply that truth to every area of our lives together. Our family, our friends, this unsteady and hurting world that we have got to reach out to!

I thank the Lord that He gives us marriage as a clear picture of His relationship with The Church. It's not always pretty, but it can create something beautiful if we, together, fight the good fight in faith.

Happy Anniversary Dave! I love you more and more every day!

The Shack (Part 2)

2008-10-21T10:32:00.000-06:00

Yes. . .I am still reading The Shack. I know it's sad. I'm a new mom - give me a break! I am almost done though. I'm only able to read a chapter a night before dozing off, so it's a slow process. And then I went out of town, yada, yada. Silly me thought I might be able to finish it on the plane. Yeah right, not with a 5 month old on your lap!

So back to the book. . .last night I read the chapter where Papa takes Mack on a journey of forgiveness. Like I said before, I can't say I agree with every little theological detail but once again this encounter with God gave me such a sweet picture of our relationship with Him. The way He lead Mack to the place of forgiveness, understood how difficult it was for him to forgive, yet pushed him until he forgave because He knew it would bring freedom. And it did. It brought freedom and deep understanding of what God did in order to forgive each one of us. Such a beautiful picture!

I'm sure I'll be able to say lots more once I finally wrap up this story. But for now, I still give it two thumbs up! This book has been very timely for me. At a time where perhaps new motherhood, stress, and great transition has made me re-evaluate my relationship with the Lord, I have this somewhat allegorical companion to my thought process. It could be dangerous to put too much weight on that so I will not. But I believe the Lord uses art to show us small glimpses of Himself. Hopefully if we are walking closely with Him, those glimpses will enhance our current view of the Lord, not overshadow it.

So here's to a greater view. I really hope the ending doesn't ruin it. . .

Hope's First Trip!

2008-10-15T19:45:00.000-06:00

This weekend we visited Minnesota to see Dave's family. We had a wonderful time and Hope did so well on the plane and also sleeping in a new place for the first time. She's such a good little traveler. Here are some highlights.

Oh. . .and FYI moms. . .the new whale tub from Target is awesome! It's the perfect reclining position for infants to lay back but not slide around. I already have a tub, but I think I may go out and get this one too. It's so much better than the traditional plastic tub!

Here's Hope taking a bath, performing her new olympic-ready gymnast stance, attending her first tea party at Aunt Jane's and lastly, sporting a Minnesota approved, monkey fur hat (which was completely necessary in the 80 degree weather we had).

Just Another Ordinary Monday. . .

2008-10-06T10:17:00.000-06:00

It's just another ordinary Monday . . . I'm sitting here in my living room, watching my daughter play in her Baby Einstein Excersaucer. She beams with excitement with every sound and song. I find that I'm beaming myself as I watch her learn and get excited about doing so. I can hardly believe that I had a part in "making" this wonderful creature. I know I've said this before, but how can anyone deny there is a God after experiencing new life?

I never understood what other mothers meant until I experienced for myself the sure joy of watching my child learn something new. This week its simply how to grab your foot and put it in your mouth, but what the heck . . . it's still a beautiful thing!

And now she whines and cries. Oh yes, it's just another ordinary Monday and I think it's time for lunch.

Delight

2008-09-30T12:53:00.000-06:00

My mom called a minute ago to ask if I was familiar with this new voice Hope had found. Oh yes, I am familiar. . . she's got this new, high pitched squeal that she lets out anytime she is happy, which is most of the time these days. Let's not discuss the fact that she took a 2 1/2 hour nap for mom today. I'm not quite sure why she can't sleep that long for me. I keep telling myself it's because she loves to be with mommy and can't stand the thought of sleeping when we could be playing. That sounds about right.

I got to spend the day with my sweet girl yesterday. Mondays are my day at home with her. After her morning nap (which ran short of my expectations of course) I brought her down to the office where I was working and I put her in her bouncy seat to play while mommy typed away. My back was to her but I could hear this constant, excited squeal behind me. I would turn around every few minutes to interact with her and she would kick and wave in delight. I kept thinking to myself, Is it possible that she's even cuter than she was yesterday? Each new day brings a new sound or facial expression or a new level of response to me and Dave. There is so much to treasure right now. I don't want to miss a second of it.

While I want to be fiercely focused on her eating, sleeping and behavioral habits, right now it seems nothing really matters as much as enjoying every sweet moment with her. Who cares if she only sleeps 45 minutes?! It's just more time for me to revel every minute with her!

My Inconvenient Truth

2008-09-26T15:55:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I found myself a bit early for a coffee meeting so I decided to run into Publix to pick up a few things. I only had about seven minutes to spare but these days, seven baby-free minutes means a lot so I ran into the store to grab some birthday cards. My seven minutes quickly turned to about thirty seconds and I ran to the shortest line hoping to jet out of there as fast as I could.

Have I ever mentioned that I have the spiritual gift of picking the longest line? Without fail, I always choose the wrong line. This time, I chose the line with a very sweet, disabled man. He was thorough and friendly and kind and. . . did I mention thorough? I told myself immediately that I would be patient and allow this man to serve me the way he desired to serve. Although I hate to be late, I knew that I could not allow a reaction to this inconvenience. The more thorough he got, the more I felt impatience rise up within me and then I simply heard the Lord say, "His inconvenience is far greater than yours." With that I stood there smiling, ready to say "thank you" from the bottom of my heart. He was such a sweet man and you could tell he had a great desire to be excellent at what he did. It was a beautiful thing.

I walked out of there a few minutes late for my appointment but it turned out the girl I was meeting was running late herself. No harm done at all and a really great lesson for me. I don't want to ever think so highly of myself and my schedule that I miss out on appreciating the beauty of God's people. This sweet man was serving with all his heart and I was honored to be on the receiving end. I can only hope to carry a heart like his.

Hope's Dedication

2008-09-18T09:47:00.000-06:00

This past Sunday we dedicated Hope to the Lord in the presence of our family and friends. This might sound odd, but this was one of the major events that I had been looking forward to. . . even as I was still pregnant. I just kept thinking about the moment we could stand in front of our church body and thank them for their incredible support while giving the Lord complete glory for our miracle. It was a very sweet time and a great reminder of the journey we had traveled to get us to this point. He truly has done great things for us!

Here's a pic from our special day and a few shots from when we caught Hope reading the other day. I think she's going to be a book worm like daddy!

The Shack

2008-09-10T13:07:00.000-06:00

This month I joined the hundreds of thousands of people who have read or are reading the book, The Shack. I have to admit, I was hesitant at first. I'm not usually one to jump on a bandwagon. Actually, I usually avoid all bandwagons as much as possible. And I had heard so many mixed reviews of the book that ran the gamut from some people absolutely praising the work to others questioning its theology. I suppose the main factor that pulled me toward the book was the fact that it is basically the biggest self-publishing phenomenon of the century (I realize we're not all that far into this century, but you get what I mean). As someone who works in the publishing industry, I couldn't help myself but to explore why so many people have been magnetically drawn to this story.

I'm only half way through, but I continue to be intrigued by this little book. I don't want to give too much away but I'll share that the main character encounters the trinity (God the Father, The Son, and The Holy Spirit) at "the shack", represented by three very unique and quirky characters. Do I think it is theologically sound to use a big, black woman named Papa to represent God the Father? Not completely. But I'm lead to ask the question, does that really matter? Surely it isn't the physical make up of God that matters (seeing as how He doesn't actually have a physical make up) but rather how the heart and character of Him are portrayed. I'm sure it's much easier to accept C.S Lewis' character of Aslan as a picture of Christ because a lion has been used to represent God in the Word and beyond.

As I was reading last night, I came to a very tender moment in the story where Mack (the main character) is sitting and talking to Jesus (represented by a Jewish Carpenter named Jesus - not a huge stretch of the imagination). Mack tells Jesus how it's so much easier to talk to him than God (Papa or Elouisa as "she" is also called - let's not get into the gender thing ok?) and the Holy Spirit (an Asian woman named Sarayu). Jesus responds by explaining to Mack that he is meant to be the relational "arm" of the three. He explains that he (Jesus) encompasses all of the best of the character of God and the Holy Spirit and is meant to make those things tangible and relational for people (I am completely paraphrasing here based on what I took away from the text). I'm still chewing on all of the theology involved here but I closed the book and went to sleep with such a tender image of my Jesus. Without over thinking the theology involved, this conversation allowed me to imagine such an accessible savior. . . one that allows the very supernatural nature of God and the Holy Spirit to be right within my grasp. Suddenly, the love of the Father and the power of the Holy Spirit seems a little more real to me.

I figure if this story can open my eyes, it's likely that the eyes of many have been opened to such relationship. And I'm only half way through! Again, I am not saying I agree with every aspect of the method or the story line, but it seems to me this book is simply striking an emotional chord with people who want to see God more realistically. I'm sure many non-believers have picked up this book as well. I pray they will take every bit of truth out of its pages and turn that revelation into a real relationship with Christ.

I'm sure I'll post again before I'm done reading The Shack. But I've been struck so hard already by this book, I just had to share. I recommend anyone picking it up. . . but make sure you read it with an open mind!

Hope Rolls Over!

2008-09-02T08:22:00.000-06:00

I have never had so much fun coaching anyone to do anything! Hope rolled over for the first time this weekend. Well. . .she rolled from her back to her side and from her tummy to her back. She's working hard on rolling from her back to her tummy. She's almost there. But boy is she determined. She just keeps trying and she gets so frustrated when she can't do it. Her little arm gets in the way and she can't quite make it over the hump. Here's a little video of her rolling from her tummy to her back. It's progress. . .so we will celebrate it here!

The Wisdom of CS Lewis

2008-08-28T09:35:00.000-06:00

“We are not exactly doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” - CS Lewis

This is one of those quotes that makes you stand up and shout, YES! I read this while I was walking out my infertility journey and it provided me a mixture of sadness and hope. Sadness, as I realized the reality that the pain of waiting could go on for quite some time. Hope, as I clung tightly to the promise that He would do what was best for us - no matter what that meant.

In the end, our pain relatively paled in comparison to that of others. But I hope to carry this truth with me and remember it as I continue to walk through life. There will be many more roads that we travel, for ourselves and for others that will require our willingness to walk through pain in order to reach His best.

There are moments of questioning the pain . . . but I will always trust the outcome.

On Love and Motherhood

2008-08-26T15:04:00.000-06:00

I had lunch with an old friend yesterday. She asked me what it was like to be a mom in terms of my love for Hope. It's amazing that she asked me this question as I have been trying to wrap my head around a mommy's love for a few weeks now.

I think it was two weeks ago that I looked at Hope and I actually felt my heart skip a beat. At the same time, I experienced that silly feeling in my tummy that I haven't felt since Dave and I were dating. In that moment, I realized that I was falling in love with my little girl and that falling in love (no matter if it's with your spouse or your child) apparently feels the same. Maybe that sounds freaky or sick to some people. It was a bit odd to me at first. But then I realized that falling in love encompasses a whole host of emotion and determination that changes your life forever.

Falling in love makes you realize you'll give your life for that person. . .that you want to be with them 24/7. . . that you would do anything to make them feel loved and safe and secure with you. When you fall in love you want nothing more than to learn everything you possibly can about the uniqueness of that person and celebrate it every day of their life.

Yes, I am definitely falling in love with my little girl. And the irony of it is. . . the more love I feel for Hope, the more I am reminded that I have not loved my husband well. Leave it to our sweet heavenly Father to use parenting to bring us back around to marriage. Oh He's so strategic like that. It's those early-relationship butterflies in the tummy that first motivate us to love and to serve well. I pray that the grace of God would keep those butterflies fluttering in my heart - for Hope and for her daddy.

Hope's 3 Month Pictures

2008-08-21T14:30:00.000-06:00

Well. . .I did it. I spent my life savings on portraits of my child. Something I said I would never do. But seriously. . . who can resist beautiful pictures of their child? We're all self-absorbed enough to think our parents and our siblings and our aunts and uncles and friends and well. . . I guess the lady down at Publix will all want a 5x7 of our child, right? Lord knows I got enough to pass out to all of Williamson County! Don't be surprised if you see these shots posted at your local grocery store!!

But isn't she sweet?

Hope Speaks Out!

2008-08-14T14:02:00.000-06:00

I can hardly believe how much Hope is "talking" these days. She is very vocal, just like her mommy! I think I might be in for it with this kid. She is not afraid to speak out. Now Dave and I just need to teach her to speak truth and life and encouragement so she can use this "gift" for good.

I'm pretty sure the amount of "talking" she's doing now has nothing to do with how she'll be later, but it's fun to think about!!

Naptime Prayers

2008-08-05T13:35:00.000-06:00

So yesterday I received a little Holy kick in the pants. . .I hate those.

Sunday night I had the pleasure of going out with my girlfriends. It was one of their birthdays so we gathered at Cheesecake Factory (where else would 4 girls gather to celebrate a birthday?!) for some good food and great conversation. Because I am the last of the brood to have children, I definitely benefit from their already-gained wisdom and experience. Although Hope is doing really well, our daytime naps remain a challenge. So I asked the girls for some advice on what to do next.

I'll spare you the entire round table discussion and I'll just say I walked away knowing I was on the right track but just needed to fine tune my schedule. I was focusing so much on Hope's eating schedule that I didn't pay enough attention to whether or not she was napping at the same time every day. Turns out it varied a little too much.

I went home and talked with my husband and really got before the Lord to ask what I should do. I quickly came up with a new schedule that would work well for our home - considering Dave's and my work schedule and Hope's time at grandmas. Since I was home with her yesterday, it was the perfect time to implement it.

Let me back track for just a second to say my big challenge with our naps is that she only sleeps for 45 minutes. Three or four 45 minute naps a day makes for a very fussy baby. Although she sleeps 10-11 hours straight through the night, her lack of daytime sleep makes her less than enjoyable when Daddy gets home in the evenings.

She went down very easily for each nap. That in itself is another form of triumph for us. But even as she drifted off to dreamland with ease, I found myself begging God to "make her sleep for at least an hour, preferably two please."

8:00am Nap #1 - 45 minutes exactly. Ok Lord, it was just the first nap. Can you take care of the next one please?

Then I decided I would intercede on her behalf at that 45 minute mark. I knew I could just pray her through to an hour or more.

11:00am Nap #2 - 50 minutes. Well that's a little progress Lord but I had something more in mind.

2:00pm Nap #3 - 55 minutes. Are you kidding me Lord? Is this the way it's going to be? At this rate, it will take weeks to get where we need to be.

4:30pm Nap #4 (which I am only doing until she starts sleeping more) - 35 minutes. I give up here Lord. I guess I can't pray her to sleep.

And then it hit me. This process (and that's exactly what it is) is so much more about my willingness to persevere then it is about her sleep. So I took that as a clear kick in the pants from the Lord to just keep pressing through and trusting Him for her well being. Dave and I had no trouble contending for her life before she was born. We must still contend for every step of her growth and progress. It might seem like a little thing to want her to sleep more during the day, but it's not. It's so important to her little body. It's definitely something to contend for.

So I will not be discouraged that we only made little progress yesterday. And I believe that she will sleep longer with a few weeks of this consistency. In the meantime, I am learning to persevere in faith, for even something as seemingly little as sleep.

Week One Back in the "Real World"

2008-07-29T14:48:00.000-06:00

I suppose I should use the term "real world" very lightly considering the fact that I work in the entertainment industry. It doesn't very much feel like the real world most of the time!

Things have been going very well at work. I'm busy enough to keep my mind off not being with Hope but not busy enough that I feel overwhelmed and want to quit. I'm sure my boss would be relieved to know that. I have to admit I've battled this feeling that nothing I am doing is as important as the little life that waits for me back home. Would I rather work on that sales report or teach my baby girl something new today? Sales report? Baby girl? Sales report? Baby girl?

One good thing that I think will come out of my situation is my being very purposeful when I AM home with Hope. I'm sure all of us moms can tend to get lazy when trying to be diligent with our kids all the time. . .or maybe that's just me. I think if I was home with her everyday, it would get old to me and I'd get lazy in my time with her. Maybe it's really sad that I'm admitting this. For now, I know that three days a week she's getting the best of my mom who will play with her and teach her things. By the time I get home to her on Thursday nights, I've missed her so much and I'm so excited to get into her world that she then gets the best of me. I believe it's a good balance for me and for Hope.

As long as it doesn't get to the point where I am so overwhelmed that she is getting "leftover mommy," I am thankful for our situation. The Lord has abundantly provided everything we've needed up until this point, I know that provision will continue each step of the way! And someday, when it is time for me to stay home with her full time (and I do hope for that day), He will then provide all the grace I need to give her the best of myself every day of the week. I guess I'm glad I get to ease into it!

First Day Back

2008-07-22T16:09:00.000-06:00

I'm headed out the door after my first day back to work. It went pretty well. I didn't cry at all. Just felt a slight underlying feeling of guilt all day for not being home with Hope and a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach because I miss her so much.

She's home with my mom which is the only reason I didn't lose it today. It feels so safe to know she's with grandma. I am proud to say I only called home once today to check on them. To my delight, grandma reported that Hope went down for her naps very well and even slept 2 hours after her 11 am bottle. I am so thankful Hope has been so good for my mom and yet I wonder why she's not been that good for me! I suppose she's on her best behavior for grandma!

I'm still not sure if I am ever going to get used to leaving her. As great as our situation is, it is hard. But I feel called to be doing what I am doing so for now, this is my reality. Dave and I are taking it one step at a time as we walk the parenting trail. Maybe someday I'll get to stay home with her, but for now she gets to enjoy extra special time with grandma.

So This Is What It Feels Like To Be A Mom. . .

2008-07-21T17:30:00.000-06:00

I kept saying that I still didn't really feel like a mom yet. Everything has been so surreal and unbelievable that it just hadn't sunk in. I would look at Hope and think, is she really mine? Am I responsible for this life? That was. . .until today.

Today we had Hope's two-month check up. All you moms out there know exactly what's coming. . .SHOTS! Yes, we endured the dreaded "first shot visit" today with our sweet girl. Dave came with us, thank God. I would not have made it without him there. After much prayer and deliberation, we determined that she should receive all five shots today. Three in one leg, two in the other.

After shot number one, she didn't make a peep. Dave and I looked at each other and thought, cool! Just then, the nurse blurted out, "Oh, I meant to tell you it doesn't usually kick in until shot #2." And then it came. . .the most horrible sound I have ever heard in my entire life. . .my child's cry of pain. With shot #'s 3, 4 and 5 it got worse and worse until I thought I was going to die. I stood there weeping. I looked over at Dave and he was crying too. I'm not talking sad little teary eyes. We were both balling by the end of it. I took her in my arms and tried to comfort her while I listened to her cry cries I have never heard come out of her. She calmed down a bit, letting out only little whimpers and sighs and at that moment, as I held her close, I knew I was her mom. I finally felt like her mom.

I think I now know what it means to be a parent. The idea that you allow your child to go through a little bit of pain because you know it's a means to a better end completely encompasses parenting. I realize this is just the tip of the iceberg for that truth. I guess there will be many more tears to come for Hope and for us!

P.S. I return to work tomorrow. Yet another milestone on this journey. Please pray for peace and strength as we make this transition. I am so thankful I get to leave her with my mom!

Dirty Little Secrets

2008-07-16T15:20:00.000-06:00

So almost every day I watch Rachael Ray at 3pm central standard time. Most of the time, Hope is sleeping - although today I took about 6 trips up the stairs during the three o clock hour and she just finally drifted off at 4:15. I just love Rachael Ray. Sure, she doesn't share all of my values, but she's pretty down to earth and her shows are more helpful and informative than gossipy. And so I watch whenever I can.

Today she had on two women that authored the books, "I Was A Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids" and "Dirty Little Secrets From Otherwise Imperfect Moms." The latter book was the focus of the show. Rachael even had moms send in videos with their dirty little mom secrets (more about mom-light savings time later). I found myself getting really into their tips and tricks. Ha, Ha, Ha. I thought. I may be a new mom, but I'm not crazy. I'm only 2 months in, but all moms feel like this from time to time. They all fudge a little just to get a break.

And then I felt that tug on my heart and I knew I needed to guard myself against jumping on board this train. I'm sure the book is really cute and the dirty little secrets are silly and harmless but if I'm looking for fun ways out already, I'm in for trouble. It's not that I think it's wrong for a mom to turn all of her clocks ahead to trick her children into going to bed an hour early, just so she can take a bubble bath. No way sister. If that's what that mother of 8 year old twins needed to do, more power to her! It's just that I felt a place of comfort, identifying with moms who are burned out and tired of trying to be perfect. I related all too well already, thinking that's totally going to be me.

I don't want that to be me. I have no desire to be supermom but more importantly, I have no desire to try to be supermom only to fall short every day and hate myself for it. I just want to be a peaceful and diligent mom who is led by the Spirit to do what is best for Hope, no matter what other moms think or do. I'm sure there will be times when I fudge a bit. . .bend the "rules" or throw the schedule out the window. That's the fun and flexible part of the mom I want to be.

I think all in all, balance is the key. We can't take ourselves or our job as a mom too seriously, yet we need to go after it with excellence and diligence. I'm not sure I've found the secret to attaining this balance (after all I'm only 2 months in) but I am committed to get there. . .for her sake and for mine.

P.S. I decided not to get that book just yet. I don't think it's best for this rookie to learn the secrets too soon. Although I think I will pick it up at some point once I have a little more time under my belt as a mom.

Little Indulgences

2008-07-09T14:38:00.000-06:00

If you don't mind indulging me for a moment. I bought this outfit a few months before Hope was born. I couldn't resist. It said "Little Miracle" and had wings attached to the back. I know, I know. Completely corny. But I broke down and spent the $20 I didn't need to spend on something I knew she would wear once for pictures.

Well last weekend, I was looking in her closet and came across my little indulgence. I almost missed it what with it being crammed between 15 million other little indulgences. I pretty much freaked because I knew for sure it didn't fit our little chunk a monk any more. But I made Dave help me get it on her and we had a little photo shoot. She was not happy but I think it was worth it!

She is doing very well this week. Her digestive system seems to be strengthening and we continue to believe the Lord for complete healing. She is consistently sleeping through the night. 8 1/2 hours straight the past three nights! Now if only I can get her to nap longer than 45 minutes at a time during the day. . .oh well, one thing at a time.

Here are a few shots from our big photo shoot. Isn't she precious?!

A Matter Of Healing

2008-07-01T14:35:00.000-06:00

We had a wonderful night last night. Hope slept 8 hours straight! I can hardly believe it. Now if I can just get her to do that consistently. . .we're on our way there. She's had a great day today as well. Although she is still battling digestive issues, we seem to have it a bit more under control. Praise the Lord!

I have though, really felt the Lord speaking to me in the past few days about making this a matter of healing. I suppose since the doctor and many books and websites I have read have said this is "normal", I figured we would just deal with it. But I feel the Lord telling me that I don't just have to deal with it. . .that we can have peace in Hope's body and in our home. We just have to make it a matter of healing for Hope.

Although I have constantly prayed over her little body for peace and relief from her discomfort, I am now contending boldly for her complete and total healing. I am asking the Lord to relieve her of any digestive issues and to bring peace to her system. I am a little embarrased that I didn't start this sooner, but I know this is the Lord's way of teaching me even more to press into Him and not just accept things that I am told.

So many lessons to learn about Hope and myself and the Lord. I am actually beginning to get excited about how this new season is going to refine me. I always figured it would, but the reality of it is so much deeper than I had imagined. I love the way He continues to mold us through all of life's circumstances - the good and the bad.

Sweet Peace

2008-06-25T14:10:00.000-06:00

Hope is six weeks today and we're making progress. Last night she slept for 6 1/2 hours straight. Woo hoo! Mommy and Daddy are feeling good today! I've realized that she loves to take long afternoon naps as well so I've been getting about 3 hours to myself every day. It seems that I'm getting to the place where I understand her more and that makes me feel a little more equipt to guide her. . .if that makes any sense.

Thanks for all your prayers. Here's a little picture of what peace looks like!

A Psalm for Hope

2008-06-23T13:49:00.000-06:00

I think last night was our worst yet. Worse than those very early days when I was sure she would never sleep. Last night, after three days of great progress and triumph, my sweet girl not only didn't sleep but she cried in pain for hours. Oh her poor little digestive system. She just couldn't settle down. I know most of you are reading this and just laughing - remembering your own nights such as this. Promise me this will pass?!

I keep beating myself up because I don't quite know what to do with her. Work towards a schedule or just comfort her? I suppose I should shoot for somewhere in the middle. I am reminding myself that the level of confusion and craziness that I feel are no indication of my ability as a mother. It's all so knew to me. I very often feel fear rise up within me. I am fighting it as I keep asking the Father for wisdom and grace.

My time in the Word has been a little hit or miss. But this morning I knew I had to dig in. The Lord led me to read Psalm 139, one of my favorites. As I got to verse 13, I heard Him say, "Read it and insert Hope's name." This is what I read and these are the promises I will stand on for my baby girl.

"For You created Hope's inmost being. You knit her together in my womb. I praise you because she is fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful. I know that full well. Hope's frame was not hidden from You when she was made in the secret place. When she was woven together in the depths of the earth Your eyes saw her unformed body. All the days ordained for Hope were written in Your book, before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

Each and every day I spend with Hope has been ordained by You Lord. You are not surprised by her discomfort. You know the source of every cry. Please cover me Lord as I gently lead her to a place of peace.

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things. . .

2008-06-16T07:47:00.000-06:00

So I'm taking a break from lamenting about how hard it is to parent a newborn. Most of you that read this blog are mothers so I'm not telling you anything new! Blah, blah, blah. . .this is hard. . .she's getting more fussy. . .harder to predict, etc, etc. You know the drill. I'll just keep praying.

In the meantime, I thought I'd share a few of my favorite new baby items with you. I know I've only been at this about a month, but I already have a "must have" list.

Oxy Clean Spray - my friend Kristy got me this as a gift at my shower. She swore by it and I am echoing her endorsement. Friday morning Hope had the biggest blow out. We're talking green poop all over a brand new outfit my grandma bought her. A few squirts of Oxy Clean spray and a run through the wash and you would never know she pooped so hard it came out the front of the diaper all over her clothes.

Gerber Organic Onesies - I love them! They are true to size so the 0-3 month ones really did fit her at the beginning and they are sooooooo soft! Even after you wash them. A must have staple for every baby's wardrobe.

Bath Sponge - ok I'm not totally sure exactly what it's called. My friends Gwen and Sarah turned me on to this. They said they use this instead of a baby bathtub. But I use both. The bath sponge is yellow and acts like a little cradle the baby can lay in while bathing. I place it in the baby tub so she has something soft to lay on. I know some tubs (mine included) come with a sling, but this is so much better and it holds the water so she feels the warmth on her back. At only $5.99, it's totally worth it. For her first few weeks, I used it on the kitchen counter, on a towel to lay her in while I sponge-bathed her.

Old-fashioned, White, Gausey Burp Cloths - I only have one that I got at a boutique (embroidered). I cannot for the life of me find any cheap, plain ones. Anyone know where to get them? They are really the best type of burp cloth. They make so many kinds. . .flannel, more towel like. But to me, these work the best. I'm on the hunt for more (probably not boutique ones as they are pricey), so let me know if you have any leads. Would you believe with everything they sell at Babies r Us, they have one type of burp cloth there? A pack of pink (or blue) Gerber cotton ones (I bought them and they are fine but not my fave). I used to think the flannel ones from Target were my pick but the more I wash them, the harder they get.

Baby Einstein "Mirror Me" Book - my friend Stephanie got this for me. I use it every day for Hope's floor and tummy time. She really seems to look at the pictures. I'm not sure she gets the mirror yet, but she will. It's a great play-time book for newborns.

Medela Micro Steam Bags - if you are breastfeeding and you don't know about these, you are missing out. I'm not even breastfeeding anymore and I still use them! My friend Amber turned me on to them. Well, not intentionally, I just watched her use them and I decided for myself that I must have them. They come in a box of 5 steam bags. You can use each bag 20 times. So for about $9.99 you get to steam your pump accessories or your bottle nipples or pacifiers 100 times. You just throw everything into the bag, add a little water, pop it in the microwave for 90 seconds and there you go. Everything is steamed! They are so easy to use and it makes me feel great to steam my items once or twice a week. When I was pumping, I steamed the pump parts after every use.

Well, I think that's enough information for one day. I'm sure my list will grow. Feel free to comment back with some of your favorite items. I'm always looking for new tricks! Yesterday at church, I totally felt like the new kid in school while in the "mother's room". I need all the training I can get from those of you that have gone before me. As you can see from my list above, most of my favorites have been recommendations of my friends. Thank you all for that.

P.S. My goal for today is to catch up on my friend's blogs. I feel so out of the loop on their lives, being so consumed with mine and Hope's. So here's to trying to get out there in cyberworld a bit today. Wish me luck!