Sweet Victory!

Praise The Lord! All is well with our little one. We had such a great experience this morning. The tech immediately showed us our "big" baby. I think even she was surprised to see how big it had grown. It measured 9 weeks and 1 day today. This is pretty remarkable. When we went in exactly 2 weeks ago, it measured 6 weeks and 5 days. . .a few days shy of where I thought it would be. Everyone assured me that some variation was normal, but I was still a little disappointed. One of the things I prayed as I prayed for strong life this week was that the growth would be strong. . .I said to the Lord, "that it would even measure more than 9 weeks today." I don't even know why I prayed that. But the Lord blessed us with strong growth. And a strong heartbeat at 179! We even got to see its little hands wave a little. I think it was saying hi to mom and dad.

My dear friend Gwen called during the ultrasound and so I said, "Oh, someone is calling to make sure everything is ok." The tech must have assumed it was my mom. She said, "Call your mom back and let's let her hear the heartbeat." So I called my mom and put the phone up to the speaker and she got to hear a baby's heartbeat. . .her grandchild's heartbeat for the first time! She cried and the tech cried. I even saw some tears in Dave's eyes. It was so sweet!

Dave and I are so very relieved and excited. God is so faithful. Another huge milemarker behind us! The best part is, I get to go back to my doctor Heather now. I've missed being under her care. We have a few more weeks to go before the end of the first trimester, but I am so encouraged and my faith is so renewed. I just know we're going to make it!

We're Back. . .

Well we made it back from our trip in one piece. We had a great time just relaxing and hanging out. It was a bit warm in the mountains (go figure) so we didn't do as many outdoorsy things as we had hoped. We stayed in the cabin, turned up the AC and lit a fire in the fireplace. And we played a lot of pool. Who knew Dave was such a pool shark. He's telling me he's not that good. . .blah, blah, blah. We played about 20 games. I won 2. . .only because he accidentally hit the 8 ball in too soon. It's a good thing I'm not very competitive. Otherwise, my vacation would have been ruined. Oh but it was fun to see him win and feel all manly and what not.

I thought our time there would make my wait for the next Dr. appointment go quickly. What I didn't count on was having a lot more head space to think about my wait. So it kinda backfired on me. I have to admit, it was hard. But we continue to press into the Lord and speak life over our situation.

We celebrated 5 years of marriage on Saturday. I can hardly believe it's been that long. Our celebration this year was a bit sweeter than our last. The night of our anniversary last year was when I began losing my first baby. And it was today, Oct 29th last year that I actually miscarried. I've been thoughtful about it but I can honestly say I'm not sad or emotional. I know the Lord had a purpose in that life and in its loss. I trust in that. It's a little surreal that it's all come back around again. . .that tomorrow morning I'll go in for ultrasound #2. But in the midst of remembering our loss, I must be strong in faith for this little one. I'm so thankful that my heavenly father understands the irony and the difficulty of it all. But His will is for us to grow and to walk stronger with each passing event so I am committed to tap into the power of the Holy Spirit and believe like I never have before this time around.

We ask that you would pray with us as we go in tomorrow. Our appointment is at 8:45am. I've not yet made it through a second ultrasound with my pregnancies so needless to say this will be quite the milemarker. Thank you all for standing and believing with us.

Takin' A Break!

Dave and I are headed out on vacation this weekend. We'll be celebrating our 5 year anniversary where we honeymooned in the Smoky Mountains.

As you think about us this week, please be praying for peace and continued and renewed faith. We are still confessing life and the promises of God but I have to admit, the days of the first trimester are dragging by. I am so thankful that as I press into Him, my fear subsides and turns this torture into pleasure. We have no option but to abide. Pray that I would be prompted by the Spirit to do that every minute of every day.

Please also pray that we would be able to spend sweet time together and with the Lord that is centered around things other than "the baby thing." One of the hardest parts of this journey is feeling consumed by it. Sometimes I want to run away from it just to catch a glimpse of different scenery in my life. Pray that as we change our physical scenery, our spiritual and emotional eyes would be opened to other things the Lord wants to show us and do in us. I know there's so much more than this. . .

Baby Victory

OK so I don't know why I feel the need to name our ultrasound pics. This time I decided to call our little one Baby Victory. I wasn't going to even post the picture but as long as I'm believing this baby into existence, I might as well go all out, right?

So here he/she is. Cute huh?

I'm breathing again. . .

Dave and I just returned from the doctor. We received a good report. Everything looks great! The doctor says I'm right on target.

I have to admit, as much as I've been confessing life and victory, I have held my breath a bit these past few weeks. Especially in the last 24 hours. We are relieved but we know there are plenty more milemarkers ahead of us.

Thank you for your prayers and for continuing to declare with us that this life has a destiny outside of my womb.

Milemarkers

Tomorrow is the big day. Well, big day #1 anyway. We'll go in at 1:15pm for our first ultrasound.

Please be praying with us as we go. Dave and I continue to declare life over this baby and my body. Of course we are still fighting the enemy's attack of fear. I suppose because the last time we went in for an ultrasound, it turned out to be devastating. But this is a new day and a new life and we are standing on the promises of God.

I really have had peace these past few weeks as I've waited. I'm learning though that is doesn't mean I won't have to fight off fear and unbelief. I look at it as training ground. When you are training for a marathon let's say (although I personally have no experience in this) you run a little bit more every day. Each day you have to press through the desire to give up. . .to not go farther then last time. If you didn't push through, you'd never finish the training. You'd never complete the race.

We've been talking a lot in our body about 2007 being a year of completion and finishing well. I had hoped that meant I'd hold a child in my arms at the end of 2007. . .that a baby would be my completion. Well I knew early in the year that completion would mean something different for me. For me, completion will mean pushing through to the next level of faith being required of me so that I can finish the race.

My sweet friend keeps reminding me that each of these doctor visits and such are milestones on our journey. We just have to get to the next one. I think I'll start calling them milemarkers. One more mile and I'm that much closer to crossing the finish line.

Thank you all for praying with us tomorrow and believing for strong life.

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The Time Is Now!

So first let me say that every time I say this in my head I also hear the old 80's song by Debby Boone ringing in my ears. . .

The time is now, receive it all. An inheritance, a favor from the King.

I guess that's not so bad. Although the synth leaves a little bit to be desired. If you are not familiar with this tune, check it out on Itunes where you'll be granted the unique opportunity to take a 30 second ride back in time to the 1980's. You might even see me dancing my heart out in the living room to this song. Oh yeah! I totally did that!

OK, let's get serious now.

Yesterday was another very powerful time in church. We are really sensing the Lord raise our faith as a body as we contend for what we know He's promised. It is very timely for me and for others in my life. I have been walking out my infertility journey with a few girlfriends. One of which recently welcomed her miracle baby into the world (praise God) and another who continues to wait on the Lord's release.

We all prayed together yesterday with a few other women in our body. We focused mostly on my friend who has not yet conceived - over 2 years after she lost a baby girl to Turner Syndrome. This friend has been such an example to me. . .waiting patiently on the Lord, remaining strong as woman after woman in our church give birth. I can honestly say without her (and a few others) I could not have made it this far on my journey.

So we prayed and prayed and while we did and also this morning as I continued to contend with her, the Lord revealed to me that the time is now. He showed me that He's been pleased that we've waited patiently, that we've remained full of joy and peace as we have. He sees that we have been content to wait and that we've brought glory to His name even in the midst of our tough trials. But it's time to let faith rise up and claim what He's promised. He showed me that any further waiting (so to speak) would go beyond what He's required and would be our letting the enemy rob from us what He's ready to give.

I am standing on this word for my friend and for myself. I believe that it is time for her to conceive after years of waiting. And I believe that it is time for me to bring forth life and overcome the power of death that has afflicted us in the past. I cannot tell you the peace that has come to me through this revelation. There is no other option. My friend will conceive a child. There is no other option. I am going to have this baby.

I have to admit, I hesitated to make such a declaration last week and even now. . .what if I'm wrong? But what's the point of a declaration of faith if there is fear that you are wrong? Faith is the substance of things unseen. . .and so I stand and I cast aside fear in the name of Jesus and I say that which He's revealed to me is true. This declaration is the substance of what we cannot yet see. . .the time is now!

My Declaration

I've spent a lot of time thinking and praying about my pregnancy and our baby this past week. Sunday in church we had a very powerful time of prayer and intercession. My pastor did not even speak. Those of you who attend my church know what an amazing thing this is. We started out asking for healing and a few people went forward to pray over the congregation. The words and prayers coming forth were so incredibly powerful. I felt faith just rising and rising within me.

And then I thought back to my conversation with Dave about how I felt this time that I could believe this baby into existence. Although I think about that every single day, I still fall into patterns of fear and unbelief. It's just unbelievable how the enemy can trap us through our thoughts. Sometimes we don't even realize what we are doing or thinking or saying. And I know our words are powerful. I believe that you can bring forth life or death with the tongue and while this is not always in the literal sense, I think sometimes it can be.

So I've determined that I am to make a declaration. I've woken up every morning this week and declared these words over my body and this baby and our family. I want to document them here now . . . mostly because I can't seem to remember exactly what to say each morning so I feel I need to write it down, but also because I want my friends and family to know just what we are standing on right now. So here it goes . . .

Lord, I declare that you are the author and giver of life. Your Word says that "all things have been created through You and for You. That You are before all things and by You all thing hold together" (Colossians 1). Today I ask that the Spirit of Life be on me and in me, providing everything that this baby and my body need to bring forth life to the glory of God. In Jesus name I declare that death has no hold on me or this baby and I stand on the goodness and faithfulness of You Lord that will bless us with this healthy and whole child. May my life and theirs bring honor to you. Amen.

Every morning I will declare this prayer. I ask that you do the same. Well. . .for you guys, maybe not every morning. But once in a while would be nice.

Monday, Monday

Mondays are like the worst thing in the world to me. I probably should be over this by now since I've endured about 1600 or so of them and they just aren't going away! I don't know what it is. Mondays just feel like Mondays. Four more days till the weekend. No way around it.

I suppose I have a hard time getting into the work groove. It takes me until about mid-day Tuesday to really get into a rhythm. This morning though, was a little more adventurous. I had to be at an event with one of my clients. A female author and speaker. She was set to speak to 2000 college students at 10am. I was in the car on the way there. I'd have plenty of time to get her settled and set up her book table. Or so I thought. At 9:05am I get a call from her. "You are not going to believe this." she says, "I put my jacket on a hanger in the back so I wouldn't spill coffee on it during the drive this morning. Then there was a fly in the car so I rolled down the windows so it would fly out. I just arrived at Starbucks and went to put on my jacket. It's not there. I think it flew out the window on I40."

Well I learned early on not to laugh at my clients. But I couldn't help it and really we were laughing together. I turned around and made a mad dash for Target (the only place to buy clothing at 9:05am). I picked out everything that might go with the skirt she was wearing and I headed to the campus.

Long story short, she ended up looking fine and we got everything done in time for her to speak. She even had a hilarious new story to share with the students. I suppose if you are an author and/or speaker, you should expect material to be flying at you at all times.

This Monday is almost over. I'm glad there were some laughs to start it off with. Anything to keep my mind distracted from the fact that there is life growing inside of me. . .life I have no control over. I'm trying so hard not to think about it too much and I am fighting fear with my whole being. I believe that I am 5 weeks pregnant exactly today. Maybe this is a good way to look at Mondays. Every Monday for the next 35 weeks, I'll be one week closer to having this baby.

Now that's one way to get over it! Mondays might just be my new favorite thing.