Does This Thing Come With An Instruction Manual?

It amazes me how you can receive a 200 page booklet with every camera, computer and toaster you bring into your home, but something as intricate as a brand new life comes with no instruction manual. I know, they say we've all been given motherly instinct, but let's be honest - how far does that really get us?

I've read lots of books and I completely agree with all of the tips and philosophies they cover. There's just one little thing. . .they didn't know my baby when they wrote that book. Hope is actually a pretty easy baby. She doesn't cry much unless there is a clear reason. But she has her quirks. She's a little random still when it comes to eating times and despite my best effort to guide her to an eat/wake/sleep schedule, she usually chooses eat/sleep or eat/wake. I suppose she's an extremist!

This morning as I was fighting back tears and bouts of frustration, I decided it was like if everyone in the world had a different cell phone (which we do) but we all received the same manual. It goes over things like how the phone should basically work - hold it to your ear to listen and talk, press the number buttons to dial, etc - but it doesn't really take into account the uniqueness of your phone. Special features and quirks, things like that. How would we function?

And then I decided that it was time to read the Word. I realize that this God-inspired book of life does not include a baby manual, (I'm in the process of asking the Lord why He didn't think to throw that in there) but it did remind me today that I have every bit of wisdom and guidance I need because I have direct access to Him, my all-knowing God. He knows exactly what my sweet Hope needs, today and everyday. I just need to tap into Him even more to receive that instruction. I suppose this is where the motherly instinct comes in to play, after all, He is the one that has graced us with it.

So I will continue to look to the books I have read for tips and strategies, but I cannot forget to first stop and allow the Holy Spirit to tell me what to do when things just don't add up. Dave keeps reminding me it's a process. I guess I just want it to be perfect as soon as possible so I can have some order back in my life. I know that sounds selfish. I'm learning to get over myself.

Here's another new pic of Hope. Isn't she sweet. She's sleeping. Oh sweet peace!

Life With Hope

We're going on day six with our little Hope. I can't even describe the reality of having her here with us. . .both the wonderful and the wonderfully hard things about it. Nights one and two at home were pretty rough. I don't think I had any unrealistic expectations about how it would be, but the reality is just so shocking. We're figuring out her needs and her personality and asking the Lord for great grace and wisdom as we do. We have so many wonderful people around us to help us although at the end of the day, Hope is a unique human being and we need to tune in to her specific needs. That's where the grace comes in.

I think the most wonderful thing about being on the other side of this is seeing my sweet husband with our little girl. I never imagined just how sweet he would be. He is settling into fatherhood so peacefully and joyfully. I can tell he loves her so much. He never ceases to spring into action when needed (even in the middle of the night, the night before he had to return to work yesterday). I've been a bit emotional so I've had a few little breakdowns. It just doesn't scare him. He's been right there, every time, ready to love and support us both.

Here are a few pics of daddy with his little girl. Isn't he sweet?

Although it's all still a little surreal, we are beginning to feel like a family. As much as I longed for this blessing to arrive, I never knew how amazing it would be. I'm sure it will only keep getting better.

Caroline Hope Wolstenholm Is Here!

It seems a little surreal to sit here in the hospital and type this entry. I guess you could say I'm officially on the other side of infertility now. The realization of our hope has come to fruition.

This morning we joyfully announce the arrival of our little girl, Caroline Hope Wolstenholm.

Baby Hope arrived Wednesday, May 14th at 8:05 pm, weighing 6 lbs 11 oz and measuring 19.5 inches long.

We are all doing very well, basking in the goodness and faithfulness of the Lord.

Here are a few pictures from our day. It was rough (to say the least) but of course, worth every second.

I will post more later.

A Change of Plans. . .

I can't believe I haven't written about all this yet. It's just been such a whirlwind this past week. About a week ago I started having some really serious pain. I actually thought I might be in labor. Silly me doesn't know what labor feels like. I went to the doctor and she suspected that I had a kidney stone. I was admitted to the hospital and long story short, I do in fact have a kidney stone! It was very painful and of course there isn't much they can do for me while I am pregnant. I did have a procedure where they inserted a stint to keep it from getting stuck (I guess). I cannot tell you how uncomfortable it is.

The good news is. . . all of this drama is allowing for our sweet baby girl to be born a bit earlier. Actually, tomorrow! This is not at all how I envisioned it happening and it's a bit sooner than expected, but how can I complain that I will get to hold her and look at her a few weeks earlier than I thought I would? Dave and I really have a peace about it. Of course I am glad that an early delivery will bring some relief to my discomfort, but I really haven't even been thinking about that so much as I have been thinking about the opportunity to finally see Hope!

We ask for your prayers as we go in tomorrow at 6 am. I'm 37 and 1/2 weeks so there should be no complications, but we are still declaring and believing that Hope will be perfectly formed and ready to face the world. We also ask that you would pray that my delivery goes smoothly. I have no idea how this kidney stone will affect how I feel during delivery, but thank God for the drugs! Now I know for sure that I am supposed to allow myself relief during the labor and delivery. We also have a great peace about that.

We'll post a report and pictures as we are able this week. I can hardly believe this journey is coming to a close in the next few days. Sure, it will extend beyond this as we get settled into life with Caroline Hope, but this week there is fulfillment - over 2 years in the making. It's amazing to think about how He's carried us through. He is so good and so faithful.

So here we go. . .

Hope's Nursery

Here are a few pics of the nursery. It's still a work in progress but we've gotten it pretty ready for her soon coming arrival. Hope you like it!

Another Celebration for Hope

Yesterday was my work shower. It was so sweet. Everyone did a great job making it very beautiful and special. I feel so loved and cared for during this season. It's such an amazing testimony of God's faithfulness. Here are some pics from the delightful occasion. I will say . . . Renee did a great job making it look elegant, but when you consider the people that were in the room (most of which I don't have pictures of), it made for a less sophisticated, but really fun event!