The Diary of a Working Mom

It's been quite an interesting couple of weeks in regards to work. I continue to manage the inner battle of whether or not it is capable of doing this job and being a good mom. This time last week I was sure it was not. I was sure that I had heard clearly from God that it was time to move on.

I traveled last week - Nashville to Chicago to Grand Rapids to Chicago and back to Nashville. It was a crazy whirlwind with free time only to think about the baby girl I had left at home. I missed her terribly and I was bitter at the thought of missing even one moment of this crucial time in her development. Each day she takes more steps, says more words and has brand new facial expressions. Why should I miss that for a job? It just doesn't seem worth it.

While traveling home, where another crazy day of work related activities awaited me, I wrestled in my heart and mind with my current situation (as I often do) but this time I honestly felt a clear voice within me. It's time to start looking for your replacement - I heard. This job has become more than you are able to give in this season. I asked God for days if this was really Him. I've had similar responses so many times that came from my exhaustion and stress. I wanted to make sure this was really His leading. I felt that I needed to take a few important next steps. 1 - Tell Dave I think I'm supposed to quit my job. 2 - Go over the budget to make sure it was even possible. 3 - Explore a few possible contract work opportunities to make sure I could contribute something to the household finances.

Dave was supportive but not quick to help write my letter of resignation. The budget was tight. There would obviously be no new shoes in my near future. And the contract work was slim. So many companies cutting back . . . many of them doing without the extra help these days.

As I sat in the car pondering what on earth we would do to make things work, I checked the email on my phone as I often do in the car. My boss had sent me something unsolicited yet unbelievable. An email, titled "A reminder of how good you are at what you do." It said basically, "I know you still aren't sure if you can do this, but I want you to know I know you can. Know that I am praying for you as you try to create the right balance and I'm willing to look at creative ways we can do that." And then he went on to sing my praises . . . which I honestly don't think I deserve. How did he know? I hadn't yet shared my revelation with him. I had planned to do so this week.

In my meeting with him on Tuesday, I honestly shared that I had planned to come in and say we needed to look for my replacement. He wasn't surprised but looked a little relieved that I wasn't actually saying it. He proceeded to encourage me even more and then we talked about ways that we could alleviate some of the stresses and the things that invade my time at home. Things will not change overnight, but I am hopeful that they will.

I'm not sure why I thought I heard the Lord say something so clearly about a specific action I was to take, only to reveal later that I am to stay. I guess sometimes He has us walk through exercises to test our faithfulness and our willingness to walk carefully through His will. I am glad I explored the things I did, even if they did not lead to my resignation. At least now I know for sure that I have the full support of my amazing boss and an open door to discuss my situation with him honestly. I am humbled that I have such favor.

A good friend and mentor reminded me this morning over coffee that I have probably the best situation if I do have to work outside the home. My wonderful mom watches Hope while I am at the office, my amazing husband is so helpful treating every task as a team player and my in laws live within a mile of our house. The conversation reminded me that I need to focus on the grace that covers me rather than the occasional tough circumstances.

Don't get me wrong. I do not want to work this much outside my home for too much longer. But He obviously still has a plan for me in this position so for now, I'll do the best I can to serve those I work for while enjoying the benefits of bills that are paid and of course, new shoes every now and then!

Simplicity Project #9

I really am trying to keep up with my blogging. But it just seems the busier I get at work, the busier I get at home. The older Hope gets, the more attention she requires. I thought it was supposed to be the other way around? Not with my little explorer. I'm in a constant state of lookout. Needless to say she can now say, NO. . . and shake her head. She sees mommy do it all day long!

This week I took on a project I've needed to do for a long time. It doesn't matter how much I want to keep my bathroom cabinets neat and tidy, with all that crap it takes to make me look half-way decent, I don't stand a chance of keeping it simple! But I managed to cut down on a little bit of clutter. What with Hope now exploring each and every door she can open, I had to make sure she wasn't met with a landslide of hair product!

Take a look at this mess before. . .


And after. . .


You should see the pile of stuff I trashed or found a new home for! I really purposed to throw out things I wasn't using. Take the bag of old Clinique makeup for instance. I used to work for Clinique about 10 years ago. . . so when I found a bag full of makeup I got for free as an employee, I figured it was OK to toss it out. If I haven't used that shade of lipstick in 10 years, it's likely not the right color for me!

This week I encourage you ladies to tackle your bathroom. Get rid of that suntan lotion from 5 years back. It's likely lost it's SPF power by now! This stuff has a shelf life people. Let's not put our bodies in danger because we can't bring ourselves to toss it!

These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things. Part 2

I can't believe I haven't posted anything in over two weeks. I'm sure the large mass of you that read my blog have been waiting on pins and needles for my next entry. Yeah right! I'm pretty certain you've gotten along just fine without me. But still, I apologize for letting things slip. It's just been that kind of season.

Hope is almost 11 months and I can hardly believe it. This season has been filled with sleepless nights (I guess those of us that get good newborn sleepers pay for it later) and running after a relentless pre-toddler. She is into everything! She cruises and climbs and is not really catching on to the word NO just yet. Well, I'm sure she's caught on, she just chooses to ignore it. I absolutely love this time with all the new things she's doing and saying, but I kinda hate it as well. I would probably call this the most wonderful and difficult season we've had with her thus far.

But, instead of lamenting about all my mommy woes I choose instead to share with you a few of my current favorite things. I did this back over the summer shortly after Hope was born. . .but those favorite things have long gone to the land of consignment sales or storage. Here's what I'm into right now:

Fisher Price Space Saver High Chair - This thing is amazing. It straps to your dining chair but reclines, has a full size tray and turns into a toddler booster seat. The best part of it is, it only costs $49! My great friend Kristy recommended it to me and I'm so glad I took her advice. I'm not sure why anyone would spend $100 or more on a full size, bulky high chair. You've gotta try it!

Puzzles, Puzzles and more Puzzles! - At first I thought Hope was a little too young for them. I thought I'd give it a try anyway. Of course she can't actually do the puzzles. . .she just walks around with the pieces in her hand. I'm not sure if all kids are like this but as long as Hope has a few little things to hold in her hands, she's good to go! Puzzle pieces are a hit!

Plastic Bibs - I think I was late to the plastic bib party because I spent lots of time (not to mention the Oxy Stain Spray) on trying to keep cloth bibs clean after being drenched in pureed carrots and sweet potatoes. It dawned on my one day that I should try using bibs of the plastic variety. Hello! These babies changed my life. Simply wipe down with soapy water after each feeding and voila! (I know most of you moms out there are laughing at me for not realizing this sooner. Whatever!)

Little People Toys - Please refer back to the Puzzle paragraph and apply the principle here. Little things to hold in the hand. . .and with faces! Enough said.

Curtains to Play Hide and Seek Behind - I have to admit I was reluctant to allow Hope to play with the curtains. . .but one, short session of her giggling like crazy as she hid behind one was enough to change my rock-hard mommy heart on the subject. Swing away dear Hope. Those giggles make my heart soar! (She also giggles like that when she races towards my MAC, but that's still off limits.)

Touch and Feel Books - I remember wondering a few months back why Hope wasn't into the touch and feel books. She just didn't get it. Then one day about a month or so ago, she began turning the pages and pointing her finger right at the textures on each page. Now she can sit for minutes (that's right, minutes . . . hey minutes are very valuable to a mom) and read them while feeling all the fun fabrics.

Well, I guess that's enough of a list for now. As we are heading quickly into the land of the 1+ year old, I would love any suggestions you all have about products or tips for this stage of life. I need all the help I can get! How exactly am I going to transition her off the bottle if she can't drink from a sippy cup?

I've got lots of work to do!