Working Mommy Lesson #6

I can't believe what an amazing day we are having today in the middle of January! Which brings me to another working mommy lesson.

Working Mommy Lesson #6: No matter what work is waiting for you, take hold of every opportunity to make a memory with your child.

Sure, the to do list is longer than ever...email is piling up. But it's Friday and I'm technically "off". It's sunny and 55 degrees in January! So Hope and I did the obvious. We dug the playhouse out of storage, grabbed the big bouncy ball and a glass of ice water and we came outside. She's having a blast and I'm being rejuvinated. I bet the work that is waiting will get done more quickly because I took this break with Hope.

Oh no, speaking of that glass of water, she just spilled it all over herself. Gotta go clean up this memory!

Hope you find time to enjoy the nice weather. That is of course if you are having it!

Working Mommy Lesson #5

This lesson is actually for every mommy. Not just the ones deemed "working mommies." We all work hard after all!

{Working} Mommy Lesson #5: Take Time To Get Away {preferably with friends who make you happy!}.






I went to Chicago this weekend with two of my girlfriends. We had a blast shopping, eating, seeing the sites. . .did I mention shopping? What more could a gal ask for? Good deals, good company and good food. . .including the biggest piece of chocolate cake you've ever seen in your life. Now that's a yummy weekend!

Every mommy should do this at least once a year!

Working Mommy Lesson #4

I'll start this post with a few pics from the pumpkin farm for those of you that visit this blog more for Hope photos and updates then for my ponderings. Isn't she sweet? I sure do think so.

Believe it or not, I already have another working mommy lesson to share with all of you. This one came this morning.

Working Mommy Lesson #4: Don't Apologize That You Are a Mom.

Mondays are one of my days home with Hope. Given the nature of my job, I do work on Mondays and some Mondays I even have to do meetings. This Monday was one of them however I did not have any childcare. My mom or my mother-in-law could have watched Hope but we are going out of town tomorrow (for work) and I make sure to never take advantage of my childcare (another working mommy lesson I'll save for later). So there was no childcare this morning which meant I took Hope with me to pick up my client and we dropped him off at the meeting instead of attending (although we working mommies do keep the world turning, sometimes it just has to spin without us). When my client stuck his head in the back of the car to greet Hope as he climbed in, she immediately began to cry and did not stop until after he was long out of her sight.

I felt horrible and unprofessional and wondered why this client would want such a scattered mommy to be his manager. Thank God he has small children himself and understands how it goes. Yet still. . .I was less than my best on the job this morning.

I felt guilty for about an hour until I was driving home and that working mommy lesson voice spoke very clearly, "Don't apologize that you are a mom." I'm a mom first (especially on Mondays) and everyone I work with and work for knew that going in. I've actually begged my boss to fire me, telling him I just don't cut it in this role as a mom. When I say this - which is about once every three months - he gives me a pep talk and tells me what a good job I'm doing. Perhaps someday he'll realize that a screaming toddler is not the best representation of our company, but until then I am not going to feel bad that sometimes my role as a mom overlaps my role as a manager.

Sure, I might be a little embarrassed when my child acts out in front of my coworkers. And I might be horrified when she cries so loud I can't talk to the client I see in person only three times a year. But I will not apologize that I am a mom or for anything that comes with that. Actually, I'm probably a better manager for it. . .since I know how to deal with high maintenance people that need constant attention.

: )

Working Mommy Lesson #3

Actually, this lesson is for everyone, not just working moms. But it struck me this week as something I should share for any of us who feel over-extended from time to time.

Working Mommy Lesson #3: Give, and Get Grace.

This past Monday I had the pleasure of watching my friend Terri's two children. I gladly offered to help out on my day off because I love her kids and I knew it would be no trouble at all. I also knew that Terri would do the same for me if I needed it. Although I knew her kids would be wonderfully behaved and would not add any extra stress, I wondered if I would be able to find the time to get things done around the house and complete the work I needed to that day. The day came and went and of course they were angels (I'm not just saying that because she reads my blog). And as I settled in for the night, I couldn't believe how much I accomplished - both at home and with work.

The week progressed and the grace continued to come. Each day at work seemed to bring about much accomplishment and at home I seemed to get even more done than usual.

As I ended the week last night, I began to reflect on how it began and I felt God whisper, "Give, and get grace." I realized that even as a busy, working mom, this is the king of life I want to live. I don't want to say no just because I'm afraid it will be too much. I want to give and give and trust God for the grace to give some more.

So dear friends, bring it on! Let's cultivate a life of giving to one another and a community that can depend on one another. Give, and get grace. . .all the grace that you need!

Working Mommy Lesson #2

Who knew the lessons would come so frequently. . .

This week I am pondering another working mommy lesson. Hang with me here as I process a bit as I write.

Working Mommy Lesson #2: As working mommies, it's OK live a compartmentalized life.

My pastor talks a lot about living a "fully-integrated life". He encourages that our Sunday morning worship should bleed into our mid-week life. . .that the way we serve at home should show up in our workplace and so on and so forth. I am absolutely on board with this belief. The only way to truly live as Christ is to be the same everyday of our lives. There is nothing worse than a Christian who does not carry the same heart with them on Tuesday as they do on Sunday. Actually, it's pretty pathetic.

I guess at some point though, I adapted the belief that living a fully-integrated life meant that I carried work home with me, that I let it invade my head and my emotions when I should otherwise be focusing elsewhere. I suppose I've thought that fully-integrated went both ways. If my worship and the person that I am should bleed into my work, then the visa verse should be as well. Although this seems to be the right notion, I think I'm missing something here.

I believe this is true for all of us, most of all working mommies. While we need our worship and our love to show up in every area of our lives, we do not need our work pressure or our work stress to show up there as well. I got in my car this evening burdened by a silly little thing that happened at work. It was so small and trivial and yet I let it eat away at me. Then it dawned on me that I needed to leave it there, in the parking lot. If I so choose, I could pick it back up there in the parking lot tomorrow but perhaps by then I will have forgotten all about it. Each and every night as I leave my role as a manager I need to close that compartment of my life until I open it back up again the next day. With this job it seems almost impossible to do that but I have to at least try. When I carry those burdens home with me I am not helping anyone. On those rare occasions where that "thing" is truly a big deal, maybe I'll carry it home in a trusty little portable container and open it back up once Hope has gone to sleep. OK, maybe I've gone to far with the imagery here.

I guess what I'm trying to say is. . .it's OK to compartmentalize some things. I think we have to or we'll go mad. We need boundaries in life and sometimes those compartments are just that, offering us the opportunity to differentiate between what is important in the moment and what can wait.

I am committed to living a fully-integrated life when it comes to everything good and holy and pleasing to the Lord. But when it comes to those things He warns us against just as worry and stress and even fear of failure, you'd better believe my office is soon going to look like the Container Store.

Working Mommy Lesson #1

This weekend I learned a very valuable working mommy lesson and I thought I should share it here. I'll share these lessons from time to time (as I learn them myself) and hopefully my doing so will save some other, poor, working mommy from having to learn them on her own.

Working Mommy Lesson #1: Business and Family Travel Don't Mix

While I am an advocate of the thought that business and family MUST be able to mix, I am now a proponent for travel as an exception to that rule.

This weekend I traveled to South Florida (where I grew up) to see the band I manage do a concert. It was the perfect scenario. Although my job was going to take me away for the weekend, I could bring Hope and visit my family. My parents even decided to come with me. How perfect! What could go wrong? My parents would be there to help me.

About an hour after we arrived at my grandma's house, Hope came down with a fever of 103.5 - a pretty dangerous level, even at her age. Despite many rounds of Motrin, Tylenol and a cool, damp cloth the fever hovered around 102.5 throughout the night and the next day. In addition to the fever, Hope began drooling like a Saint Bernard, soaking 2 shirts a day with gobs of saliva. She's never been a drooler so I was baffled by this mess. I figured she was teething but still. . . How much drool can a petite little girl make for 1 or 2 teeth? And what are the odds a toddler would cut several major teeth AND have a virus the very same weekend I chose to take her away with me for work?

Needless to say, I didn't make it to the show. I had to call my client and let them know that motherhood was calling and I would not be there to see them. Of course they understood, but I was horrified to not be able to follow through with my commitment to them. Even though my parents were there and graciously offered to watch their screaming granddaughter while I went to the concert, I could not bear the thought of leaving her or leaving them with her all night.

The weekend proved to be one of the most horrible of my life. Even though I had lots of help around me, I didn't have Dave (thank God for Dave) so I felt a bit alone. Not only did I feel guilty that Hope was feeling so badly and there was nothing I could do - I added to that the guilt of letting down a client because my primary role is as a mommy.

I know now that I should never have put myself, Hope or my client in the position where I'd have to choose like that. Of course I was going to choose Hope - no question about that. But I need to save myself from having to make decisions like this in regards to work vs. family. We have been thinking about another work/family trip this coming November but I am now very sure I need to take that one alone and save everyone the hassle. It's just not worth it (well maybe if work took me to Hawaii or something it would be worth it).

So, all of you working mommies out there. . .don't be tempted to bring your young child on a business trip, even if it's to Disney World. Perhaps at some point the benefits outweigh the risks, but not at 16 months. With a toddler, a virus is much more of a possibility than free, family fun!