Working Mommy Lesson #1

This weekend I learned a very valuable working mommy lesson and I thought I should share it here. I'll share these lessons from time to time (as I learn them myself) and hopefully my doing so will save some other, poor, working mommy from having to learn them on her own.

Working Mommy Lesson #1: Business and Family Travel Don't Mix

While I am an advocate of the thought that business and family MUST be able to mix, I am now a proponent for travel as an exception to that rule.

This weekend I traveled to South Florida (where I grew up) to see the band I manage do a concert. It was the perfect scenario. Although my job was going to take me away for the weekend, I could bring Hope and visit my family. My parents even decided to come with me. How perfect! What could go wrong? My parents would be there to help me.

About an hour after we arrived at my grandma's house, Hope came down with a fever of 103.5 - a pretty dangerous level, even at her age. Despite many rounds of Motrin, Tylenol and a cool, damp cloth the fever hovered around 102.5 throughout the night and the next day. In addition to the fever, Hope began drooling like a Saint Bernard, soaking 2 shirts a day with gobs of saliva. She's never been a drooler so I was baffled by this mess. I figured she was teething but still. . . How much drool can a petite little girl make for 1 or 2 teeth? And what are the odds a toddler would cut several major teeth AND have a virus the very same weekend I chose to take her away with me for work?

Needless to say, I didn't make it to the show. I had to call my client and let them know that motherhood was calling and I would not be there to see them. Of course they understood, but I was horrified to not be able to follow through with my commitment to them. Even though my parents were there and graciously offered to watch their screaming granddaughter while I went to the concert, I could not bear the thought of leaving her or leaving them with her all night.

The weekend proved to be one of the most horrible of my life. Even though I had lots of help around me, I didn't have Dave (thank God for Dave) so I felt a bit alone. Not only did I feel guilty that Hope was feeling so badly and there was nothing I could do - I added to that the guilt of letting down a client because my primary role is as a mommy.

I know now that I should never have put myself, Hope or my client in the position where I'd have to choose like that. Of course I was going to choose Hope - no question about that. But I need to save myself from having to make decisions like this in regards to work vs. family. We have been thinking about another work/family trip this coming November but I am now very sure I need to take that one alone and save everyone the hassle. It's just not worth it (well maybe if work took me to Hawaii or something it would be worth it).

So, all of you working mommies out there. . .don't be tempted to bring your young child on a business trip, even if it's to Disney World. Perhaps at some point the benefits outweigh the risks, but not at 16 months. With a toddler, a virus is much more of a possibility than free, family fun!